Enough | ✔️

+ BITTERSWEET GOODBYE +

[1] RAMBLY SAPPY PART:
(skip ahead to [3] if you do not wish to read)

I don't want to say goodbye. These characters mean so much to me, and I've grown so attached because of how much longer this story has been compared to UB and WBTW. Part of me might even miss Martha-May - in fact, the only character I'm not going to miss is Grant: a sorry excuse of a human being.

But, goodbyes are bittersweet.

Here's the sweet part: I'm proud.

This story took so much out of me, in terms of time and sitting down to write it, but also in terms of personal experiences. I relate to Quorra a scary amount, and feeling like enough - for others and for myself - is a day to day struggle. But, some days are better than others, so all I can do is find some optimism that sticks and superglue it on. This story was based around a school-like environment becuase it's where most of my struggles have been in terms of feeling sufficient. But I do believe Quorra, and myself, when she said that being enough is a matter of realising, not becoming.

And on top of that, how many teenagers my age can say they've written three complete books? They may be far from perfect, have tonnes of plotholes (omg i forgot a character DIED in WBTW) and all cringy at times, but I am still proud of myself - and I not often am. Juggling writing and the rest of my life has been a struggle, and often I end up taking two weeks hiatuses without realising, but I pulled through in the end.

You all motivated me.

I hope that anyone that can relate is at least remotely soothed by this story, its meaning, or my personal experience. Life is pretty freaking hard, but it is all we have. As Quorra said in Chapter 45,

'Life is the biggest thing I know. I can't 'zoom out' anymore than this. I look at the grand scheme of things and I see today, then this week, then this month, and this year, then adulthood, and then life. I can't go further. There is no further.'

You have to keep on going, because once you decide to leave this world, there is nothing more. Do you want to leave with no legacy left behind? Do you want to leave those who adore you to the moon and back to suffer in the absence of your beautiful soul?

You are fucking enough. Hear me? Even if you aren't for yourself, you are for me, and you always will be. Maybe I'm a stranger to you, and maybe what I think of you doesn't matter in the grand scheme of things, but for god's sake it matters right now. If my singular belief in you being enough gets you through even one more second of painstaking, demanding life, so be it.

You are worth it.

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[2] DURATION, ACCOMPLISHMENTS, AND GOALS

Given this story's length, it's taken much longer than UB and WBTW. While those two took 305 and 306 days each, this one took 585 days! That's 1 year, 7 months, and 8 days including today. My god, I drew it out, didn't I?

With this story, I also feel that I've found a balance. UB was a little too mundane for me (I still adore it, as my first baby - I mean, book) and WBTW was too much of 'make out sex woo masturbation (that was SO hard to write) hot guys make out' repeat in between bursts of plot progression (though I really loved the action parts, and the characters are still dear to my heart). In this story, I've managed to sort of better balance the plot with the relationship between my characters... I hope?

In future, my aims are to improve characterisation - I did this initially, as the contrast between Slater, and Quorra was particularly evident in the manner I wrote in when in their POVs (e.g. I swallowed a dictionary before writing in Slater's POV) but this was not sustained throughout as well as it could have been (e.g. by the end, Hannah reminded me a lot of Calbee from UB, and while I blamed this on Lucas influencing her, I think I could have done it a little more elegantly). I don't want all my characters to sound the same, especially across books, so that is a skill I will defininitely take initiative to improve on.

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[3] WHAT NOW? PLANS FOR FUTURE BOOKS

*cackles evilly*

I have several books planned, dabbling in different genres. I hope to start my next story ASAP. Once I make a cover and blurb (any volunteers?😉), I can start writing right away. Given how excited I am for it, it will be within the next few days or next week.

Across my three works (fantasy/magic/romance, action/gang/romance, teacherxstudent/meaningful/romance) I've found that I enjoy the gang/danger/action aspect of things blended with romance. They are really fun to write, so in my next work, I'm going to combine this with a boss/employee setting, or just any other genre that I want to try out.

Any suggestions for genres I should try out? I am open to most genres, though some might require me to do more research, so I might be delayed in starting.

I have considered a sequel (Hannah/Lucas, or even Grant/Martha-May) or even a prequel (family backgrounds and experiences) but I have no spur to prick the sides of my intent, as Macbeth once said, right now. If I ever come up with dazzling plots, I will start writing immediately and post a chapter here to let you guys know. Keep this story in your archive :)

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[4] BITTERSWEET GOODBYE

I am going to miss you guys, my readers, sincerely. I hope you guys stay with me for my future works, but if you do not, I love you and wish you well. Remember what this story made you feel, remember Quorra and her journey, and remember that you are worth it. You are worth life.

Quorra is enough.

We are enough.

I am enough.

Over and out,
Spud 🥔.

P.S For those of you who didn't catch the italicised reference at the end of Chapter 51 - Quorra is replying to her past self from Chapter 1. I was hoping someone would notice, but it's been 585 freaking days sooo here you go:

1
'You know what's funny about being enough?
I don't know. I'll let you know when I feel like it.'
[This should've been clearer - when she feels like enough, not when she feels arsed enough to tell you]

51
"You know what's funny about being enough? I'll tell you now. It feels no different than when you thought you weren't enough, because you've always been it. It's a matter of realising, not becoming."