Royal 2 (Book two in my Selection series)

Chapter 39

People I hadn't seen in ages were inside the room. Some of my moms cousins who had pretended we didn't exist after she got sick were here. I look around and try to find a face I wanted to see and my eyes met a pair I didn't want to see again and they were making their way toward me.

"Autumn. It's been a while." The man says awkwardly. I doubted he thought that the prince would've followed me back here.

"I didn't realize you were on the guest list." I say coldly after I've recovered myself. I step back a bit so I was farther away from the man and closer to Will.

"Your uncle thought it would be fair since I was her husband and her dear children's father." The man says.

"You stopped being my father the day you left me and Colton." I notice a woman beside of him who I assumed was the Scarlet he wrote about in the letter and three kids by him. Two could've only been three maybe two. The other was maybe one sitting on its mother's hip.

"That's not true. I did realize that we didn't receive an invite to the palace and I believe there are only five girls left." I couldn't believe that he was asking this in front of Will. "Even though I did write a letter to the palace not long after I wrote one to you."

"Yes, I did receive that." Will speaks for the first time behind me. I look back at him since I hadn't even heard about this. "I'd had enough conversations about you with Autumn to realize I didn't believe she'd want you there."

The man looks at me for confirmation and I don't give him what he's looking for.

"I trust his judgement." I say. "And I'd appreciate it if you left and stayed away from Colton when he gets here."

"I thought it might be good for my children to meet you. This one can't take her eyes off the TV when the selection is on." He nods to one of the three year olds.

"I'm not just some sort of show horse you use to impress people. I don't hold your children accountable for any of your wrongdoings and I don't blame your children and wife for wondering why you must've left because you were an amazing father- the best even- which is the reason you hurt me the most, but I won't be shown off just for being picked out of a drawing." My voice was hoarse from crying and weak from lack of happiness.

"I believe this is my time to leave. I'm glad I got to see you again Autumn." Ryan says smiling a bit but I could tell it was fake. I make my way from Will and to his wife.

"Nice to meet you." I say weakly to her and nod my head. I then turn to the three kids of his and smile in their direction. I held a grudge that I refused to talk about right now. "Nice to meet you all too."

"Nice to meet you too." Scarlet smiles gently to me, but I could tell she was in an uncomfortable position. I turn my head as I hear the door opens and my aunt walks in with Colton. 

"Are you sure I cannot just talk to Colton?" Ryan asks and looks at me. Maybe they were real feelings but maybe they weren't.

"Can we talk outside? Alone?" I ask him with accusation in my tone. He nods andI lead him out the door. Once it closes I realize I could still hear the soft chatter inside the room.

"I didn't want to cause trouble." He says solemnly.

"What did you want then? Did you want to get out of paying child support for Colton? Did you want to get fame and popularity from the selection?" My voice raises accusingly.

"I just wanted to check in on you. Maybe see Colton because he is still my son." I couldn't place his honesty so I tried to pretend I couldn't hear emotion.

"The daughter you left. I was fourteen and I wrote you a letter that you never responded to begging you to come home after Ma got sick. I didn't know how to feed a newborn; I didn't know how to take care of her and get her to and from the doctor; I wasn't even old enough to get a job. The first year without you was awful. I was only getting two meals a day so that I could feed Ma and Colton and only getting by because of the child support and disability checks." Every little drop of hate I've had for him was all coming out now.

"Autumn—"

"After the first year I wrote you another letter the day after my birthday. I asked if you'd just send a couple more dollars a month to help us get by." I drop my hands from the angry shake I'd held them in and step back to wait for his response.

"But I sent ten dollars extra a month. Just like you asked." He says questioningly like he didn't understand what he did so wrong.

"That's not the point. You didn't even write back or let me know you were here. I didn't even want the money as much as I just wanted you to come home. I was too proud to let Kathy and David help me like they wanted so I spent my entire life barely pulling through and barely affording to keep Colton and Ma healthy." My voice shakes and I can feel got tears rolling down my face.

"I'm sorry." His voice comes out in a whisper.

"You should be. Now please take your family and leave. My mother wouldn't want you here and I don't either." My voice sounds colder than I expected and he nods grimly and I see him walk back in the building and leave moments later with his family. I stumble back to one of the benches that sit beside the funeral home and put my elbows on my knees and my face in my hands.

I feel the bench move a bit when someone sits beside me and feel a familiar hand on my shoulder. I noticed how I couldn't hear a single voice inside the room.

"You all heard every word I said, didn't you?" I say as the tears continue it fall down my face.

"Nobody blames you." He mutters and pulls me closer to him with his arm.

"Everything wasn't even that long ago and it all still hurts." I manage a shaky sigh and close my eyes.

"I know." I feel his soft lips against my forehead.

"I probably should go in." I say and stand up. "Stay by me while I'm here. Please."

"I will." Will smiles and hooks my arm ceremonially with his and walk into the building.

After about twenty minutes of short talks with people who probably only approached me because of the prince at my side.

At some point I ended up at the front of the room by the open casket.

"We don't have to be up here." Will mutters beside of me.

"It's okay." I say and walk slowly up to her casket. "Oh God." I mutter as I look at her face. "She looks more like herself than she ever has before."

I feel a warm hand on the small of my back. I breathe out and put my hand on my mother's cold one.

"I wish I'd gotten to talk to her more. It's like every moment in my entire life where I hadn't wanted her company, I wish I'd been with her. You know, when she was healthier." I smile at the memories.

When I look back at Will he smiles softly.

"She used to go to this field with me and teach me to swim in the creek, ride a bike, climb the trees, and it was kind of just a place we went. I haven't been back there since she wasn't sick." I frown at the misfortune.

"I'm sorry. Really sorry actually. I don't really understand how you are holding up, honest. I admire you for that." Will says and smiles sadly.

"Thanks." I whisper and walk away from the casket. I hold onto his hand and sit in one of the cushioned chairs.

Somehow I didn't understand how I'd made it so long without him.