Her Own Wings

Liz, 19 Years Old

After she broke up with Blake, she became despondent. She didn't have any way to escape from the house, to escape Sir Father and his vicious rants. He had recently switched from beer to drinking liquor, which made him even more of a mean drunk. She was sad because she missed Blake, and she was happy to be rid of him. Blake would still call her and try to convince her to go out with him again. She remembered the good times she shared with him for the first two years, then remembered how cruel he was the last year, and always refused to go out with him again. Eventually, he realized she was serious and quit calling.

She tried to reconnect with her friends, but after being with Blake for three years, she had lost her connection with her friends. They had developed their own lives, and did their own things. She had no one she could talk to about anything. Her friends were gone. Blake was gone. Mom was busy with Sir Father. Sir Father was busy drinking, as usual. Kim was busy with her boyfriend, and her friends. She realized she had no one.

Her life consisted of college, and home. She spent every moment either in class, traveling between home and school, at her job or in her bedroom - until the summer break. She had finished her classes, and was going to start looking for full-time work. But, it was summer, and she wanted to have one last summer to relax. She bought a season pass for the amusement park in town, and went there, alone. She went to the movies alone, and went out to eat alone. She grew used to having no one to talk to. No one was interested in what was going on with her. She wasn't even sure if her parents knew she wasn't taking classes over the summer. She barely spoke to them. They would come home and go straight to their bedroom, shut the door and stay in there until they left the next morning for work. She would see her Mom in the kitchen cooking, but Mom was usually busy talking to Sir Father, or more likely arguing with him, and then after meals she'd clean the kitchen and disappear into her room with Sir Father. Kim was always with her boyfriend or their large group of friends. She just stayed in her room when she was home.

Eventually, she grew tired of being alone. She decided that she would try to connect with her sister, Kim. It had been a while since they really talked, and she was hopeful that she could start to renew the bond she and Kim had once shared.

She remembered the night she tried to connect with her sister, Kim. Kim and her friends were hanging out in the garage, like they usually did. She grabbed a cup of soda, her pack of cigarettes and opened the door to the garage. Kim's friends were playing pool, and she found an empty chair and sat down. She didn't say anything to anyone, just sat down. She grabbed a cigarette and lit it, and looked around the room. Kim and her friends all had a strange expression on their faces, and had stopped talking. They were all staring at her.
"Hey guys, thought I'd hang out and have a smoke with you guys. That ok?"

"Why are you out here, Liz? You never come here. You spying on us?" Kim asked, with a sneer in her voice. "I'll bet Sir Father told you to come see if we stole his weed, right?"
"No, just wanted to come out here and smoke and hang out for a bit."

"You between books, four-eyes? C'mon Spaz, what's going on?" Kim said, and her friends laughed at Liz.

She could feel the tears sting her eyes. She hated the nickname Spaz. Kim knew that, and would use it to really dig deep and hurt her.
"Spaz, can I have a smoke?" Kim's boyfriend said, as he took a handful of cigarettes out of her pack. "It's ok, right Spaz? Hey guys, Spaz is sharing stogies, who else wants one?" He passed all of her cigarettes out to all of Kim's friends.

Liz stubbed her cigarette out, and looked at Kim. "Kim, can you stop, please? I just wanted to hang out for a bit. Please?" She said, with the tears still stinging her eyes.
"Lookie everyone, Spaz is about to cry. C'mon, Spaz, cry! We wanna see you Spaz out again. C'Mon, Spaz!" Kim said. All of her friends laughed.