Thinking.(Naruto)

Chapter Two

We're off. Off to Suna to deliver the scrolls to Gaara. The best of the sun beating down their necks as they trudge through the desert. Two days and no stopping. "Kakashi-sensei can't we rest for a minute?" Sakura pleads wiping sweat from her brow. Kakashi takes a thoughtful pause. "Alright, rest for a few then we'll go at it full speed." A sigh of relief leaves the mouths of the three genin. It was hot, they were very sweaty, and to top it off they still had a whole day to go however they were lucky, they hadn't run into any trouble, no rouge ninjas, no guards, nada, nothing at all.
Throughout the trip Sasuke and Sakura had made signs to keep watch on Naruto. The boy had been very quiet the past few days except for a few remarks here and there. It was peaceful but at the same time worrying. It was like Naruto was lost in his own world, when they would talk to him he'd be spacing in and out and look confused as to what was going on.
"Naruto-Baka, don't fall asleep!" Sakura shouts noticing the blonde leaning on a rock.
"I'm not asleep Sakura-Chan, I'm just resting my eyes." He assures with a thumbs up. Sakura can't resist the urge to roll her eyes, he's an idiot she thinks to herself, but she's glad he still makes some commentary here and there. The rest of team seven finds them selves enveloped in the quietness of the trip. The sun is beating against their clothing and all in all it's so hot they find themselves glued to the ground from their sweaty thighs sticking to the floor. There's the sound of a zipper in the quiet, and all heads turn to Naruto. Kakashi blinks upon noticing Naruto take his jacket off. Underneath was a dark grey long sleeve shirt. None of them had known Naruto to wear long sleeves so they all couldn't help but to ogle him.
"What?," Naruto asks, annoyed by the three sets of eyes on him.
"Hn."
"Nothing Baka."
"Nothing it's just all this time I've been your sensei I've never seen you in a simple long sleeve, I never even thought you'd have such a solid plain color in your wardrobe."
Naruto blinked, oh, "Oh," he mouthed. To be honest he'd forgotten that he was even wearing th his shirt. "Haven't been in to all the bright colors lately," was the quiet reply mustered up. To be honest Naruto was still in his head. He couldn't help but to think, did Gaara miss him? Did he even consider him a friend? If he didn't then what where they? Was Naruto nothing to anyone?
He knows he's not important, he struggles to accept that but knows that's all he has and all he will ever have. He won't ever be hokage, he knows that, because how can he be hokage if he doesn't love himself? How can he be hokage if his village won't even spare him a glance? How can he be hokage if he's a monster? Monsters don't become hokage.
"-Uto..."
"-ruto!"
"Naruto!"
Sasuke glares at him eye filled with disgust and something he can't quite make out. "Have you been listening to anything we've been saying you idiot?" He snaps. Cerulean eyes widen. "No... I'm sorry.."
'idiot'
'stupid'
'useless'
'Why can't you just do anything right?'
"I'm sorry guys, could you-could you repeat it?" Sasuke groaned. "Never mind you idiot, we're moving out, let's go." Tying his jacket around his waist he kept to his feet and they began running once more.
It's a day later and they arrive at the gates of Suna greeted by Kankuro and Temari.
"Hey what's up Naruto?" Kankuro grins reaching in to hug him. "Hey paint face! Where's Gaara?" Kankuro grinned. "He's on his way, being Kazekage is a lot of work so give him a small break okay?" Naruto nodded thoughtfully.
Just then out of the corner of his eye he sees a red headed blue heading his way. "Gaara!" He shouts excitedly. "Naruto Uzumaki, " Gaara removes his cap and begins to come closer. Naruto stretches out his hand but instead of a hand shake he received a hug. "It's been a long time," he mumbles. Naruto suddenly feels a pang in his chest, he feels like a shit friend, he doesn't even know how to act in front of him, or how to feel. He can't breathe suddenly, it feels like his insecurities are suffocating him.
Gaara escorts them to their rooms and had Kankuro and Temari take the scrolls to his office. As Naruto is about to enter the room he's sharing with Sasuke Gaara stops him.
"Naruto," He begins. "Can I talk to you for a moment?" Naruto feels his heart drop to his stomach.
"Sure Gaara, whats up?" His palms sweat and his stomach churns at the thought of what Gaara could possibly want to talk to him about?
"Are you okay?" Gaara blurts. Big blue eyes open wide, "am I.... okay?"
"Yeah, I mean you seem sad, or different?" Both boys make eye contact and suddenly it's like the world stops.
Naruto feels like spilling everything, like telling Gaara how much his chest has been killing him lately, or how he cried himself to sleep almost every night, he felt like telling him how he is not okay and how he can't even fucking breathe. But instead he says,
" I'm fine."
The red head is skeptical, he looks Naruto up and down searching for any hint of an answer that could say that maybe he was lying. There was nothing. "Okay, well, if you need to talk to me I'll be in my office. I'll come and get you in about two hours so we could eat and catch up." He smiles.
Relief floods Naruto. He hasn't been caught, he won't ever be caught he'll make sure of that. Rushing into the room he sets his bags down, he slides his shoes off and off comes his shirt.
"I hope you're not getting naked dobe, that would be disgusting." Sasuke remarks.
"I'm not don't worry." Naruto says ignoring the snide comments that came from the Uchiha. He plops on to the bed and curls into the soft blankets, it's then that he realizes there's only one bed, which means either they share or one sleeps on the floor. Naruto's not sleeping on the floor, absolutely not. Then and there he decided that. Sasuke was an ass, so he's gonna either have to deal with it or sleep elsewhere. Suddenly his eyes feel heavy, his body sinks into the mattress and his eyes close.
He wakes about an hour and half later. And to his surprise Sasuke is asleep too, in the bed, right next to him maybe an inch away. Naruto feels his face heat up from the closeness. How embarrassing. The blonde slides from the bed and slips into the bathroom to take a shower. As soon as he's dressed Gaara comes to get him as well as Sasuke, Sakura, and Kakashi. They arrive in a small conference room where they are seated and they began to converse.
They're all talking, eating, having a good time. In fact Naruto is relaxing for the first time in a while. But that all comes to an end when Gaara brings it up once again.
"So Naruto, I feel we only briefly touched the subject earlier but, are you sure you're okay?"
Not liking the sudden attention he plays it cool.
"Of course I'm okay why wouldn't I be?" Is the curt reply.
"Naruto," Sakura starts, "you've been a little weird, kinda off from your usual self... are you sure you're okay?"
Pink brows furrow in concern and Naruto can't help but to feel a sense of panic.
"I already told you I'm fine."
"The dobe is probably just seeking attention."
"Now Sasuke-"
Clang!
Two small shaky fists slam against the table.
"I need to be excused."
They all watch in shock as the blonde leaves the table and heads out the room.
The day flies by, Naruto apologizes to Gaara on his own at the end of the night and they even played a couple games of cards, talked about their lives and dreams, talked of their friendships and how they hope to grow as people. During their time together Naruto even let the red head in on a small secret telling him that he has been kind of down lately but that he's working to get better. Gaara smiles at him and tells him that he is here for him, but for some reason Naruto feels a sense of loneliness growing in his heart. But he can't tell him that, he can't tell anyone that.
Now he lays there in the dark on the bed next to Sasuke, breath stuck in his throat. Don't cry, don't cry, don't cry, don't you dare fucking cry. Oh. And down his cheeks come the tears, he draws a shaky breath and clasps a hand over his mouth while grasping his shirt and bunching it in his hands with the other.
'Pathetic'
'Waste of space'
'Useless'
'Monster'
'Idiot'
'Loser'
Here it is again, that late night type of sadness.

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Thank you few who've read my last chapter I hope this one was okay. Also I would really appreciate it if you guys voted and commented :)