Tevun-Krus #53 - Return to First Contact

Sky Sharks - A Short Story by @AngusEcrivain

A/N: Originally written for a prompt posted on Wattpunk, reckon it's fair to say this story fits the theme of this issue perfectly... Or y'know, well enough!

What I am about to tell you proves beyond a shadow of a doubt that an Englishman should always keep his weapons within easy reach, preferably at both the front and back door. For has it not often been said, that an Englishman's home is his castle?

And one never knows when one's castle will be attacked.

One could, for example, be tending one's herb garden on a late summer's eve or supping the finest example of beer Bavaria has to offer whilst enjoying the company of a bonnie lass or three, when out of nowhere flying sharks firing beams of light from their eyes and with gatling guns where their fins ought begin to systematically lay waste to the village one calls one's home.

***

"Shut the fucking curtains, Janine." I'll admit my words there were not quite as couth as they might have been, but I firmly believe that certain situations require far less delicate vocalisations. "Shut the fucking curtains and quickly, follow me through to the kitchen!"

This situation was most definitely one of those situations. Several residences in the cul-de-sac were already ablaze and in the street, people were running scared and screaming as hundreds of flying sharks took pot-shots at them, seemingly for fun.

"Your weapon, Sir," said Janine with a wink as she handed both my blunderbuss and my wakizashi. "I'll ensure the others are armed and suitably dangerous, too."

"Blonde, bad and beautiful," I said, flashing her a smile as I made haste towards the door.

Once outside I realised things were worse, even, than I first feared. Little of the village remained and although a handful of residents were doing their best to fight back, to fend off the Sky Shark threat, numbers were most definitely not in our favour.

I fished around in the pocket of my jacket and located my pipe, already loaded with the finest tobacco, and ignored the three sharks circling around my head as I put a match to it.

Then I smiled, and fired.

A direct hit, and one of the sharks fell to the ground with a sickening thud and accompanying jangling of mechanical parts.

There was little time to dwell upon my success though for seconds later, the now-duo of Sky Sharks approached rapidly from the fore. They were not firing, oddly, though such a thing was not necessary for their velocity was impressive and they knocked into me, sending both my blunderbuss and I flying, albeit temporarily, through the air.

I somehow managed to narrowly avoid getting eaten by jaws that snapped shut quite literally an eighth of an inch from my face however my blunderbuss was not quite so lucky, devoured as it was by a hungry flying shark who seemed to care not for the fact he - or she, as sharks can be girls, too - had just chewed and swallowed several ounces of gunpowder.

"You look like you could use a hand, Sir."

I looked up and saw Janine; Mary and Ettie, too, but it was the former whose hand extended downwards, a hand I gratefully accepted and allowed her to help me to my feet.

It was only then that I really took in the trio stood before me. All were quite, quite beautiful, attired similarly in corsets and skirts. Goggles rested upon each of their foreheads whilst upon their feet, hefty heavy boots were apparently the order of the day.

"Ladies," I said with a nod and a grin as they first lowered their goggles and then drew their respective weapons, all of which happened with perfect synchronisation. "Let's get these Sky Shark bastards."

***

Never has there been, nor will there ever be again, three young women quite so adept at killing Sky Sharks. And please do not for a single second get me wrong, I destroyed my fair share of the flying, toothy menace, but my contribution pales in comparison to that of Janine, Mary and Ettie.

The grace with which they moved from target to target was astounding and as the rain began to fall heavily, so too did the number of flying sharks wane.

It was not long before the remaining Sky Sharks retreated, no doubt heading back to whatever classed as their ocean and though our victory was tainted with the blood and death of many a villager it was a victory nonetheless, one celebrated with the consumption of countless beverages at the Pussy & Fiddle, the Inn at the village's centre.

Come dawn and with it the awkward stagger home, the true magnitude of the previous night's attack was evident. Much of the village was destroyed and most of its population dead.

One thing, however, was certain. Our village is defended and as such, the Sky Sharks return shall be at their peril.