Letters to my idols

Twenty One Pilots

Thank you

These two words mean something different to a lot of people, but this is what thank you means to me.

You were the first people to help me realize that what I'm going through won't last forever. You helped me open up to people. You helped me to take my pain and put it i to music or art, not out on myself.

You have helped me find people that understand me. You helped me find people that actually care about me. You are the reason that I found people who care about what I'm going through.

You turned February, a super hard month for me mentally, into a month that leaves good memories because of February 1, 2017. That night was when I got to see you two. Although my anxiety would have stopped me from enjoying the concert because I was in the pit and I can't handle being pushed around very well, for some reason my anxiety seemed to go away for that night. Because of you guys, I was in a room full of people that knew what I was going through. A room full of people who decided that it was worth it to stay alive. Although this was for one night only, you made me feel happiness for once. I did not feel any mental pain.

You helped me realize that I can be successful despite what I'm going through. Usually I see fans of artists get sad when they start to be known worldwide and are performing in arenas. For me, that's the opposite. My dream is to perform in front of thousands of people, because music helps me through everything and performing makes me feel free. Before I became a fan, I didn't think I would ever be successful. But your success inspired me to believe that I can be successful one day.

You were the ones that helped me get rid of super dark and negative thoughts. Although I still deal with self harm, you helped me not try to do anything worse. Every time I think of ending it, I think of the lyrics and how you got through the stuff, and it helps me stay alive.

So thank you seriously. Thank you for the laughter, thank you for the happiness, thank you for the tears, thank you for the inspiration, thank you for the friends.

Thank you for saving my life.