Letters to my idols

Brendon Urie

Being a part of the LGBT community can be really hard, but when you look up to someone who hugely supports it, it makes it easier.

Dealing with ADHD almost ruined my high school experience and friendships, but having someone to relate to really helped me.

I was always considered weird, and not normal. It made everything hard for me and I needed to hide myself. But in 8th grade, something else happened. Two things for me that go hand in hand that would be life changing.

I started to have feelings that I wasn't straight. Along with that, I found a band I would soon love. That band is called Panic! at the Disco.

When I found out I'm queer, I was terrified. I kept thinking that everyone was going to hate me so I just forced myself not to be straight. But Brendon, after finding out that you are a huge LGBT supporter, I was able to be proud of myself.

Starting in 2015 was when I started to come out to people. I came out to myself, I came out to my internet friends. In 2016 some of my real life friends knew(I made it too obvious without actually coming out) and then finally, who I was most scared of coming out to, in 2017 I came out to my parents.

I was terrified but you helped me to be myself and not be afraid.

Now here comes my struggles with ADHD.

Ever since I knew what ADHD was, I had a feeling that "maybe I have it" but my parents didn't necessarily believe in it until it started to have a huge affect on my grades and then in 2016 I got diagnosed.

However, around the time that I was diagnosed, I also bought tickets to see Panic! at the Disco on the Death of a Bachelor tour.

I had no idea how to feel when I got diagnosed but I felt better than if I had gotten diagnosed when I was younger. If I had gotten diagnosed when I was younger, I would be thinking "it's official, I'm stupid"

Because of my ADHD, I was never able to focus as well as the other kids and I would be fidgeting a lot (I still do both) and when my brain goes into hyperfocus, I feel like I'm gonna annoy my friends and they will hate me.

So thank you for being that person I am able to relate to. It wasn't always easy being the weird friend, but you helped me realize that being weird is a good thing. You helped me find my unique sense of humor with my weirdness and I started to realize that even though some people won't like my weirdness, other people will find me funny.

Thank you for helping me be proud of being weird.

And thank you for helping me see that I can succeed despite having ADHD