Finding Faith

Five

Why is God so forgiving?

No one can be that merciful, right?

I couldn't find a clever way to say five and still have it apply to this chapter. So we're gonna focus on the number five and what it signifies.

'Five' in the Bible signifies God's grace, goodness, and favor towards humans. Twenty-five, five squared, is grace upon grace.

It baffles me that God is constantly forgiving me. It didn't add up. How can we sin against someone so much and they still find cause to forgive us? How can a being so powerful and mighty be so kind-hearted when it comes to His creations ?

I mean we're here to serve God, He doesn't have to show us mercy.

And the truth is, He doesn't. But He is continuously good to us.

Every. Single. Day.

I was so used to seeing people hate and despise each other that I had a hard time believing that someone could love willingly and with all their heart. After all, who sends their Son to die for a species deserving of hell ?

I started to not buy it.

I had convinced myself it was a trick and that God doesn't truly love us. As much as I tried to fight such horrendous thoughts, they watered down my mind like a flood and contributed to me questioning my faith.

It's not possible, God doesn't love you the way you think He does. The thoughts repeated and gradually got louder and louder. Each time I would fight, ask God to take these thoughts away and beg for His forgiveness. I hated my mind. I questioned myself. How can I think such evil-minded thoughts about my creator, the one who does love me?

I felt it was to good to be true.

But brethren, it's not. It is true. Everything God says, His mercy, His favor, His undying and passionate love for us is true.

So then why do we question it? Could it be we're so accepting of the hatred in this world that we can't even believe that our Heavenly Father cares about us?

As John 3:16 says, "Yes, God loved the world so much that he gave his only Son, so that everyone who believes in him would not be lost but have eternal life."
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Read that again and again until it sinks in. God sent His Son for you.

Yes, you. He had you on His mind when He sent His Son. You were on Jesus's mind when He was on that cross, bleeding, life leaving His body. Pain, so much pain He endured for you. Lacerations of all sizes decorated His body yet He still found every second of it worth it, because of you.

Isn't that the greatest love ?

So I think of those things and I ask myself, why don't I believe it? Why is my faith so fragile? Why did I struggle?

And if you're reading this, you're probably asking yourself the same. You're asking yourself why you find it so hard to believe.

Maybe you're even judging me. Wondering, how can someone who claims to have known God and speak in tongues question God's glory and love?

Trust me, I've asked myself the same.

But with every chapter I write, every letter I type, every thought that comes to my mind, I'm slowly receiving that answer. I'm seeing where I slipped up.

Where have you slipped ?