I am sitting in a corner.
Everyone just ate dinner.
James came over here a few times offering me food, but I denied it every time. He eventually just started leaving neat scraps in front of me.
Juliette is talking to Lily, they're too far for me to make out what they're saying. Warner is no where to be found, exactly how I like it.
"Hey, man. Why aren't you eating? You've been here for five hours and I haven't seen you consume a single thing" Kenji asks as he walks up to me.
I lift up my head, meeting his eyes.
"Lost my appetite"
"To what?"
"You know damn well what. You expect me to just come here and forgive that dick all of the sudden for everything he did? And seeing him with...." my voice trails off.
" ....look, I get that. Its gotta be rough. I'm just looking out for you" Kenji says.
"Don't" I say.
"Adam, don't be like this. James is really worried about you....we all are" Kenji pleads.
"Spare me, I doubt anyone gives a monkey's ass about me. And James.....he's in a good place right now, I did everything I could for him" I say. "You know, I don't understand what more you expect of me, Kenji. After everything I've been through you have the nerve to tell me I'm basically not enough".
"That's not what I'm saying, Adam-"
"Just stop, Kenj" I interrupt.
"God, you are just so goddamn unreasonable and its annoying as hell! Adam, you need to get over your shit because this has been hard for all of us! Don't be like this, man. James needs you more than ever and you're being a dick about it" Kenji says.
Now we have the entire room's attention.
Again.
"You're letting this consume who you are. She's over you, man, move on!" Kenji continues.
"I said STOP!!" I shout back.
He shakes his head like he's staring at true ridiculousness.
"Kenji" Juliette calls.
" ....I was just trying to help you" he says and walks away, joining Juliette and Lily in their conversation.
Juliette holds my stare, worry consuming her expression.
I look away, my eyes landing on the corner across from me. Castle sits there, frozen and recovering still from Omega Point.
In the next corner, Alia sits, drawing something on her sketchbook. She glances up quickly, and immediately looks away when she meets my eyes.
I never did get to thank her for the clothes.
Maybe another time, I'm completely humiliated to move an inch.
Minutes later, Warner enters the room.
Great.
Of Course, walking over to Juliette.
His hand. Lands on. Her backbone.
I notice her shy smile and I shift my position so that my side is leaning against the wall. I lean my head against it too, hoping I'll drift off and never wake up.
"Alright guys" a voice says.
Juliette's voice.
"We'll um begin training tomorrow. I'm really proud of all of you just for being here. I know you're probably really scared but...Anderson will be taken down in two weeks, and you won't have to be scared anymore, I promise".
" .....thanks Juliette" I hear my brother say.
Everyone else applauds her little speech.
" ...alright well, we're gonna go to bed now. I'll see you guys tomorrow" Juliette says.
We're gonna go to bed?
...she goes to bed with Warner?
I slightly turn my head and watch her enter an elevator with Warner, secretly holding hands, and then they're gone.
She tried to deny that he wasn't her boyfriend.
Was it really about the sex all along? Was I not giving her enough?
Is he giving it to her? Have they already....?
Suddenly, I'm jealous. Even more than before.
She broke up with me because she didn't wanna hurt me; that if we did try to make it work without touching too much, it wouldn't be enough.
And now Warner can touch her all of the sudden and she thinks he's God for it.
Why is she being so stupid?
"Alright, lights out. Goodnight everyone" Kenji says.
I close my eyes.
I wish I could forget everything. I wish I had died with Omega Point after I knew James was safe.
Everything is becoming too much, I'm not strong enough to bear through it all. If it weren't for James, I'd be dead right now, without a doubt.
None of this was my fault, I did everything I could to stop this from happening, but then the drama came in and I wasn't myself anymore.
A safe feeling suddenly protects me from all these negative thoughts as a thick blanket is gently thrown over me.
"Sweet dreams, Adam" James whispers.
He cuddles beside me when I was certain he'd wanna sleep next to Kenji to keep his nightmares away instead of me.
"Thanks, kid" I say and tossle his hair before I place a kiss on his head and pull him in closer.
The lights turn off and I drift off into a deep sleep I haven't had in a long time.
