pandemonium and shattered glass hearts.

Chapter 7.

7.

Luces pov.

I never thought I'd end up here, I can hardly believe I'm even doing this.

I freaked out, over thinking always leads to this sort of drama.

So I guess that answers my own question, I am doing this, I better start believing it.

I just keep running, my ankles start to hurt I roll them so much. My bag bashes my ribs, sending little aches through my body. And yet I'm not turning back.

'it's a hot night in the city, and I'm swingin' for the fight of my life'

The beach is getting closer, it's sort of stupid putting a school 10 minutes from the beach, no matter what they do we're always going to come here without permission. There's an ecstasy feel to the risk it brings, especially as there are killer tides here.

But I don't care, not tonight.

I trip up, the skin on my hands ripping and stinging. I'm so close now.

'i got no cash, but i just don't care I just wanna be famous tonight'

By the time I reach the place I've came for, I'm out of breath, the years are running jaggedly down my face. They trace cold lines down my cheeks, drop onto my stinging hands.

It's cold, silent, dark. There's nobody here tonight, it's all mine.

I tip my bag over, sending a cascade of stuff pouring into the sand.

A few blades, a bottle of vodka, a handful of pills.

I just can't take this any more, I've planned this night for so long now.

I never meant to do it so soon.

'And I'll touch the sky til the day I die'

The sky is clear, there are endless stars, each containing a different story, a different soul.

When someone dies they become a star, shining in their own beautiful way.

I know I shouldn't still believe this sort of stuff at my age, but hey, you have to believe in something.

There's no point waiting, ive never been a star, but I want to be one, more than anything.

I down the pills with vodka, gagging a bit on the amount I've swallowed.

It's slow to work, I feel fine, like I haven't just tried to off myself.

So I trace a few lines in my thigh, without even realizing what sort of picture I'm making.

I'm concentrating on the past few days now, starting to shake with the nostalgia, the cold and the vodka.

It feels good to sit here and think, drink, remember things.

Life is supposed to flash before your eyes before you die, but my eyes are blank, they stare straight at the stars. But all I can see is the regrets I have, faces, shapes, words, all spinning around in my head.

I'm shaking uncontrollably now, it takes all my strength not to shove my fingers down my throat and get rid of what I've done.

Instead I curl into the sand, clutch the pieced together tea-cup, and drift into a shaky, drug fueled dream.

'I can't do this without you, do this without you.....'

Jess's pov

Luce hasn't come back, it's past 9.

It's freezing, starting to rain a little.

I'm sitting here, tapping my fingers, trying to stop myself going through her book again.

I need it, more than I need air.

So I open it, just to a random page in the middle.

It's a picture, hardly visible through the smudges and bleeding ink.

It makes me shudder.

It's a girl, so clearly Luce.

Every feature is identical to hers.

But she's lying, surrounded by pill containers, bottles.

There's red stuff coming from her hand, and it scares the living hell out of me.

It's then I know that something is wrong, and the rain gets heavier.

I only came here last term, Luce has been here years. She knows every corner of the beach that lies a few kilometers away.

I know nothing.

So why do I grab a torch, and run out of the room.

I'm not wearing shoes, so the ground stabs my feet.

I take the stairs 2 at a time, tripping a couple of times.

When I get outside the rain is cold, it stings as it stabs into my face. The tears and raindrops mix on my cheeks, and I still keep running.

My feet ache, and I'm drenched by the time I get to the beach, all evidence of the clear night we had earlier gone.

Its as though I'm stuck in my own nightmare, screaming out luce's name and getting no reply.

The sand all up my legs, and by the time I see a slumped over shape I'm bleeding, hysterical, and shivering.

It's Luce, the scene depicts the drawing perfectly.

So perfectly it scares me, making me shake even more...