That Girl in the Diner

9 - I Don't Love You

9 Dont Love You

Being in love- it's complicated. Love is not just merely one emotion, it's a jumble of just about all emotions, really. There's that intense caring for someone else, the feeling of missing someone all the time when they're not around. There is the feeling of happiness too, knowing that your feelings are reciprocated. There's also a little anxiety, some fear. You want your love to be happy all the time, and if they're not... or, worse, if anything ever happened to them... Living without them is a scary possibility. Then, there are the butterflies in your stomach, your racing heart, the weak knees- all the physical signs. There's that constant longing to feel them close, have their lips on yours. Love is rarely clear cut, it's quite messy. Madeline felt all of this to the core. Someone finally thought she was enough, someone loved her and told her she was beautiful and made her laugh- how could she not be in love? Julian, however, was having some second thoughts.

It was a regular Thursday afternoon. His older sister, Casey, had dropped by to help stock up his fridge with a few leftovers. She did that on occasion, just because she knew that her little brother had next to nothing. And besides, Julian's nephews loved him. He was 'the fun uncle' which would seem like a really good title... except for when there was like twenty of the little maggots crawling all over you, begging for stories and songs and games. But just two were fine. He liked seeing them and his sister. It wasn't very long until the topic of Madeline came up. Things didn't stay secret for very long in his family, apparently.

"So, mom tells me that you've been seeing more nad more of this mystery woman of yours. The last weekend you were up there you would only tell us her name! Madison, isn't it?"

"Madeline. I have been seeing a lot of her." He replied as Aiden started trying to clamber up his leg and Caleb was kept busy by banging his keyboard. It was the usual scenario. Both boys had way too much energy for their mother's sake.

"Oh, really? Do you think it's serious?"

"Serious? How do you mean serious?"

"Ooh, that's not a good answer." Casey said with a small laugh as she put lettuce in his crisper.

"Why not?"

"If it was serious, you'd have said yes. You avoiding the answer means that she thinks it's serious and you don't. Believe me, Julian, I've done this a bazillion times. I know what I'm talking about."

"I didn't think you got around that much in high school!" He said with a laugh. Casey swatted at him. Julian was her little brother, he just couldn't resist being annoying in some way, shape or form. It would be like breaking the little brother's code or something.

"So, come on, give me all the gory details. What's she like?"

He smiled a little. "She's really sweet. She always brings me food and stuff- even before I actually met her, she used to slip me extra fries and stuff. She's a waitress at the diner down the street. She's absolutely gorgeous too. A little shy, she blushes a lot..."

"And she's in love with you but you're not crazy about her?"

"I am crazy about her! I- I don't know. It's complicated. I told her that I loved her, but I'm not sure anymore..."

"Why not?"

"We've not even been going out for two months! It seems ridiculous. I've never been sure, I guess. I just got caught up in the moment... I don't want to hurt her. I'm just not sure. I haven't seen her since I told her."

"Did you just tell her that because you didn't want to disappoint her or something? Come on, what's the whole story?"

"We were stuck on top of a ferris wheel and she blurted it out and she was totally mortified. I do really like her though. I'm just not sure it's love yet. I mean, who falls into love that quickly, seriously? Especially me!"