Random Writings from My Journal

Excerpt VIII: Blue

The color blue is a calming color to most people.

But I am not most people.

I look at the color blue and I think wow what a sad color.

I think I am blue.

The tears that roll down my face at night and the fear in my chest that someone is going to see me falling apart but walk away before they can see me pick myself up again is what makes me blue.

Blue is the calm waves after a storm.

Blue is my slowed breathing after a panic attack.

Blue is the fight in me.

Blue is the color I relate to the most because I am strong.

Because I have a storm inside me stirring while i'm still the quiet soft waves on the outside.

Blue is my mind.

Blue is my thoughts on a bad day where I cannot find the strength to lift my head up until I release the storm built up in me.

I cannot calm the waves for long before another hurricane starts building.

Blue is me standing in the eye of the storm fighting it.