Gone

Away

Adam

As I left the park, I didn't even realize I was walking home because I had done it so many times before. During the dark hours of the night, the shadows displayed themselves over the stretch of the black bitchuman. Once before, not so long ago I had found this scary yet now none of the shadows seem to haunt me, the only picture replaying in my mind is her.

As I walked and walked I started to peer into the families houses that reside on the street. I began to envy them, they weren't going through the same nightmare I witnessed, they have a family to go home to, the burning rage started to ignite in my chest as I ran as fast as my feet would carry me, my broken shoes not protecting my feet from the harshness of the ground.

By the time I reached my door I was on the verge of passing out.

I turned the key and pushed the door open I bypassed the living room and headed straight toward my bedroom door. I smelt the familiar scent of her still lingering, in my bed where she once laid.

The smell almost overwhelmed me but I continued on. I was standing in front of my mirror I took in my appearance my eyes were red and puffy, the tears still falling freely. My hair wet and messy. As I continued staring at myself, I wondered when my appearance wouldn't look so empty and broken. When her funeral would be, if everything would return to normal? I look at myself and regret thinking any of that, how could I be so selfish, thinking about my future when she will never have one.

My thoughts are racing through my mind; I can't grasp which one I want to focus on. Then I realise I don't want to focus on them. I want to forget, everything.

I run down the stairs and head for the cupboard, the only thought running through my mind is the need to forget.

I throw open all of the kitchen cupboards as I search for the alcohol, I don't remember where I put it. Finally the last cupboard I open. I grab the vodka and slam a glass down on to the table and pour myself a drink, I scull it, welcoming the burning feeling that remains in my throat. I don't know how many drinks I poured myself, all I know is I can't see properly but all I can see is her. I throw the bottle at the wall, satisfied with the sound of it smashing. I stumble up the stairs, my knees giving out occasionally. Eventually I reach my door I swing it open as hard as I can leaving a hole in the wall behind it.

I rummage through everything that's under the bed, trying to find the box with my stash in it. Just like everything, it seems to be the last thing I pull out from under my bed. I open the box, pull out my stash and my bong, as I inhale the smoke, my whole system seems to relax; I do this until I run out. Everything is spinning but I still can't forget, I think I hear a knock at the door but I can't be sure so I walk toward the front door, forgetting I have to walk down the stairs, I tumble down them, pick myself up and open the door.

I'm shocked to see Lily's parents. I must look horrible because they just stare at me, their mouths open slightly. I run a hand through my hair and suddenly they must have remembered why they were here because her mother pulls out and envelope with my name on it and hands it to me.

"They found this in her back pocket, I told them I would give it to you, I didn't read it but if there's anything in there was to why she did this, can you please tell us". She says hurriedly.

I simply nod in reply; she embraces me with a strong desperate hug. I melt in her arms for what seems to be an eternity. I slowly peel myself away from her, I'm not completely sure which one of us needs the physical comfort at the moment, but none the less the letter seems to be burning my hand, with how much I want to open it. I say my goodbyes as I retreat back into my house. I carefully tear the envelope open as I take out its content. Folded neatly is a letter.