Gone

Not Again

George

Who could be calling at this hour? I wasn't asleep, but who else would be awake? I think as I walk toward the blaring phone.

"Hello?" I say my voice gruff due to the lack of use.

"Hello sir, I'm sorry to disturb you but I didn't know who else to call. There seems to be another suicide where your daughter was found earlier this evening, it's a young boy." He explains.

My whole world stops as I immediately think of Adam, no. He wouldn't. He couldn't. Only then do I realise I haven't said anything as the other person is still speaking, they hang up and the receiver is still pressed up against my ear. I have to know if it's Adam.

"Eleanor we have to go" I shout

"Where"? She asks

"Back to the park, it's Adam" I explain

"What do you mean, 'its Adam,' what happened?" she asks worriedly

"There's no time to explain, come on" I say.

I grab her hand and pull her out the door and into the car as we race down the road.

All I can think is, not Adam too.

In the car, I hold Eleanor's hand, trying to keep myself from falling apart. I look at her and her face is completely blank, no emotion is held what so ever. I'm scared of what will happen when we get there, but I'm more scared about what she's going to do. When we finally reach the park, I look at the tree, but this time I see two ropes, all of my hopes crash. I rush out of the car and run over to the paramedics. I look at them; they're just sitting on the bench. 

One of them holds out his hand for me, where I see two pieces of paper. 

I take them and as I glance down to look at them I see Adam lying lifeless on the floor. My breath hitches in my throat and I just stare at him. They've taken away the rope, laid his hands by his side, but he looks like a mess. He has fresh cuts scattered all over his face, deep cuts residing all the way up his arms but his hands are bandaged. I kneel beside him, thinking that the bandages don't look right. I slowly unravel them from his hands, only to find more cuts. His knuckles are swollen and bruised. I can't imagine what he was doing before he came here. When we went to his house, he looked stoned and drunk but I didn't think he was going to do this.

 I slowly sit beside him. I move his messy hair away from his forehead and place my hand there. I don't cry, I couldn't do that to Eleanor. Eleanor, I look around panicked. Where is she? I get to my feet and go back to the car. She still in her seat, still staring like she was on the way here, I don't know if she knows what's happening or not.

 I open her door and look at her; she still isn't looking at me.

"Eleanor, honey"? I say

She still doesn't answer me, I don't know what to do, and so I close the door and walk over to the paramedics.

"Excuse me, hi um, my wife isn't replying to me, she hasn't said a word or moved since we have been in the car, I think she could be in shock, is there anything you can do"? I ask.

"We can take a look sir," one of them replies.

They walk over to the car and open her door, they try speaking to her but she doesn't say anything she doesn't even acknowledge their presence. They finally close the door and head back over to where I am standing.

"She doesn't seem to be responding, the only thing you can do is take her home and let her rest, maybe tell her what happened when she is in the right mind set to understand," he said.

I simply nod my head in reply, I walk back over to Adam, I sit beside him and I don't move, not even when I start to shake, I just stare at him. I see a paramedic walking toward me. I lift my head so we are making eye contact. He hands me two pieces of paper. I open the first one, and see Lily's handwriting. By the end of the letter I am crying, I think about my baby, and I had no idea how much pain she was in, why didn't she tell me?

 Then I think of the same reasons she has said to Adam. I remember the other piece of paper and there are only three words, this must be Adam's note. My hands are shaking as the words hit me like a solid wall.

'In Another Life '

Adam killed himself because he wanted to be with Lily. I take a deep breath to pull myself together. I lean over Adam and hug his cold body, saying goodbye to the boy who was like a son to me.. I get up and head back to my car, with my wife still unmoving. I open my car door and collapse into my chair I rub my face with my hands, trying to rid the memories that keep flashing through my mind.

"Is Adam okay"? I hear Eleanor ask softly.

"No, Adam is not okay, he's dead he killed himself," I hear myself say.

"Oh" Eleanor says even more softly than the first time she spoke.

I hear her quiet whimpers filling the empty space between us. I turn to her to comfort her, but by the time I turn around the car door is slamming in my face.

Eleanor

I can't be in the car, it all feels too small. I begin to walk over to Adam, to his lifeless body lying on the floor.

I just stare at him, taking it all in, is this what Lily felt like? Is that feeling, the way I'm feeling now? I don't know anymore, I don't know anything, how could I not see how much pain my own daughter was in. I knew we shouldn't have left Adam by himself, I knew he was hurting when he answered the door.

I told George we shouldn't have left him there like that, but he insist we leave him to grieve. I fall down next to him, by legs not able to carry my weight any longer. I grab onto Adams shirt and pull it to my face, letting my whimpers be muffled by the damp fabric. I slowly pull myself away from him. I let my eyes rake his body. His arms, every inch is covered with deep gashes. His hands swollen and littered with cuts. Even his face is affected. What was he doing before he came here? I take his hands in mine and bring it to my lips, I say goodbye to the boy who was like a son to me.

I turn and see all the paramedics looking at me with pity etched all over their faces. I dragged myself back over to where my husband is seated in the car, making no effort to hold myself together as I crumble before I reach the parking lot, He rushes to my side and picks me up as if though I weigh nothing and carries me back into the car. The last thing I remember hearing is the sound of the engine starting.