Sotus After Story

Chapter-4 "S & Kongpob"

S
I flipped the pages roughly searching for some answers which were nowhere to be found. Everything seemed so wrong. When I took the first step towards this decision I forgot almost everything. Everything seemed so vague. About everyone who cared for me. I was so lost in my own dream that no one appeared in my selfish mind.
Last night, after P'M left I got too busy arranging my books. While relocating some items my cell vibrated under my butt, the instant shock made me believe that I was experiencing an earthquake. I airily unlocked my phone to check the text & to my utter surprise it was the most awaited one in a decade.
Last year, I transferred in SSU just because P'Kongpob was here. Including, I wasn't really in the shape to ask my dad for money to get in an international university. If I'd ask him there was no chance that he'd say no, it was my ego which refrained me from asking some financial support from my own father. Then I got in here with a great hope, which turned into an extremely adventurous journey. James was like a brother but a more weird one than P'Kongpob. Not to forget about P'M. It started too fast and it went deeper than I imagined it to be.
I had two options, either this or that. On one way it was my lifetime dream while on the other it went quite messy. I never thought that P'M & my relation was as deep as P'Kongpob & P'Arthit's one. They're much different than us. In fact their love is a fathomless pit while our one is a shallow hole.
Despite of that, I was expecting to sort it out in our own way. I couldn't guarantee the rate of viability. I felt myself lost in a labyrinth of little streets. In state of nervousness & everlasting panic I picked my phone up & dialed P'Kongpob's number. He was the only one capable person to suggest me a pure piece of advice, he obviously knew everything better than me. I got a little bit more tensed when his phone was ringing but he wasn't picking it up. I bit my nails hoping for him to pick it up, after a dozen of attempt finally I heard his manly voice calling out my name.
"Hello, S."
"Swasdee P."
"What's up?"
"P...uhm..umm" I stammered like a lunatic.
I controlled my ambivalent feeling bursting inside my heart & said ,
"I have something really really important to discuss with you."
"Tell me when I return, okay?"
But there weren't much time left to apply for the course so I uttered.
"It's super urgent P, I'm sorry but.."
"It's okay. I'll try to come the soonest I can."
Finally my mind was in peace after receiving these words of assurance from my considerate brother. It did reduce the pace of my heart beat drastically.

*****
It took me an entire day to learn what I was exactly about to say to P'Kongpob. After endless sessions of memorizing & practicing I felt much prepared.He's a nice guy but he's stubborn as well. Maybe, it passed on from our father. He's equally as stubborn as P'Kongpob & I inherited some of such nature. Though not sure of up to what extent. Albeit it was going to be a normal yet so serious conversation between brothers but I was revising each and every word as if I were about to make a speech in the national parliament to the President of Thailand. Which would have been equally embarrassing, anyway.
*****
Kongpob
I cleaned the floor, & put the hover in its usual place. P'Arthit was lost in his dreamland when I was done with all the chores. I had to leave for my condominium earlier but I had to help him here, he was too tired to be left alone. I served the lunch on the table & called out his name but unfortunately there was no response from him.
I briskly marched towards his room with certain intention to wake my sleeping beauty up. Something about him made me laugh so hard that I couldn't control myself. He was sleeping asymmetrically on his bed, & the funniest part was that his legs were on the pillow instead of his head. He looked innocent as ever. I slowly moved towards him and softly moved my index finger into circles on his face & then slowly moving downwards, in an attempt to wake him. His body trembled with every single touch as if I gave him electric shock. But still he was in deep sleep.
My second thought was to blow on his ear, which was pretty much a good strategy. After a few blow he suddenly woke up and shoved me roughly. Then again he went back to sleep covering his head with the pillow, presumably to protect his ears. This time I had no other option than just to behave wildly. I creepily took a sit on his back & then lowered my body to enfold him into a cuddle from behind. My body heavily pressed onto his. A sudden warmth clogged my heart.
He finally removed the pillow.
"Get up Kong!"
"You need to wake up! It's lunchtime."
"I need to sleep!! I'm feeling dizzy."
"As you wish-but if you don't wake up now then I won't get up as well!"
He whined, " You're heavy."
"I'm not only heavy but also naughty! And if you don't wake up now then I'll show you my real intention!" I added mischievously.
"Kong!! Don't you dare."
He glared.
****
My car wasn't working. I slowly moved in between the alleys in search of a cab. P'Arthit was again sleeping after lunch. He's more of like a living sleeping pill. When I'm with him, even I feel like to sleep as well. It can be possible that he passed his phobia onto me.

I walked myself to S's condominium. It took quite a long time to reach there. I won't blame my not-so-working car as it was my fate, or else I'd been enjoying this beautiful summer evening in Pattaya with P'Arthit rather than sweating out here in Bangkok by unwanted evening jog.
It took S three rings on his doorbell to open the door. Usually he's always in these baggy clothes, looking clumsy & thoughtless. But he wasn't wearing any of them that time. His condominium was finely tidy & everything seemed so arranged. I knew him well, he has always been a smart child with better understanding ability, but when it comes to tidiness I never found him that much cautious. He allowed me to let in and requested to take a seat. He even had snacks prepared for me which. He obediently served the snacks to me. I was seriously getting suspicious about this act. He was behaving extra-sweetly which he didn't have to if he had something good or even bad to confess. I took the glass of lemonade in my hand.
"What is it?"
I stated with a strong expression to scare the hell out of him if he had something really miserable to say.
"P'... uhm- I ....have..." he stammered.
It was really heard to listen someone stammering like that.
"Can you please stop with that uh-oh-eh & say what is the-important-talk?" I frowned.
"You know, I've always wanted to study abroad. It was my dream."
"Don't beat around the bush."
"Well, I got accepted in my desired university!"
I wanted to hear everything that he had to say. So I remained mute.
He said he wanted to leave within the next month. To be honest if this was his ultimate decision then he should have decided it himself. After all it's his life & it's his choice, where he wants to go & where he wants to study. It was great to know that he valued me so much that he had the urge to share.
There was just only one thing that I had to say after hearing that.
"Does M knows?"
"No P! I didn't tell him."
"I can't tell him. You need to say it yourself."
If he was hoping that I'll help him with this then he was wrong. As he was my brother, M was also my best friend. I couldn't have just blurted out that, " hey, your boyfriend is leaving! Okay? Bye!" It's not that easy. And I couldn't possibly risk our friendship for that simple phrase. If he'd already decided that much for his life then it was also his responsibility to clean the mess.

S
P'Kongpob seemed right, I had this super serious thing going around with this guy who's his bestest friend. Moreover, P'Kongpob was never there when it started, I won't say that he opposed us but he didn't even show his support as well. Maybe, he didn't care about it as I didn't about his. After all one's life is one's own. No one can have a say.

Lost in my subconscious mind I mistakenly touched the extremely hot bowl which I shouldn't have. My fingers turned red with pain & soon blister formed on my finger tips. I applied toothpaste paste to cool it down before the burn could've kill me. I was really sensitive to burn. In my childhood, I always stayed cautious. I've always maintained my distance from fire. But this fear was not because the fire was fire but also because it reminded me of my mother. Prior to her death I always used to light up firecrackers. I even burnt my hands a few times, but there was nothing to fret about. My mother was there to care about me. She used to apply me ointment with super caution. As if she'd hurt herself, though the pain was mine.
After she died I kept myself away from almost everything that could've caused me to suffer. Not because of the physical pain but because of her memory that would reminisce me about her more & more. It would've caused mental agony, which was much worse.
I was dressing my wound when my doorbell rang. P'Kongpob left couple of hours ago. He didn't left anything here so supposedly it wasn't him. And if it was P'M then it'll be quite eccentric as I mentioned him clearly to come at night after I'm done with my study. I painfully proceeded towards the door unaware of how to open the door as almost all of my fingers were not in a very good shape to assist me in opening up the door. After several rounds I made it, finally the mission to twist the door knob was accomplished.
P'M was standing in front of me, his face blissful as ever. He winked at me, which was his usual way to show affection.He instantly covered me into a bear hug, the hug was so tight that not only my heart but my blood circulation halted, momentarily. He was so close that his fresh lavender incense filled my nostrils. He always smelled this good.
This hug shook my heart, actually it didn't only shook my heart but it did melt me right away.
I was about to enquire for his early arrival, but it didn't feel right. Just it didn't.
"I'm sorry," he stated.
"It's okay," I patiently replied, which was nowhere around the usual me.
He raised his brow in amazement but he didn't say anything.
I didn't want to spoil our time together over some stupid argument.
"What happened to you?"
He shrieked.
"I just burnt my fingers."
I replied.
He seemed quite worried after seeing my wound. He softly grabbed the wrist of my hands & pulled it up towards his face. His face reached closer & his lips touched my fingers. Though I couldn't feel his lips because of the bandage but it still sent a shiver down my spine.
"Now you'll recover faster."
He jocularly added.