His eyes beaming in the softest of colors, his fringes scattered messily on his forehead. I slowly reached out for him but he looked away. When I came back to senses I already knew what was it. Droplets of tear rolled down like crystals. I wanted to...
Arthit I walk through the aisle with my best men behind my back and the entire venue full of people staring right at me with great pleasure. Obviously I couldn't look at everyone of them but I was happy to see that people were finally happy to see me happy. I can see Kongpob standing right next to the priest, his eyes full of hopes and gaiety fixed at me. The fragrance of these white roses which artistically decorated our wedding venue were intolerably strong like my love for these flowers. And I loved it how meticulously he corrected each and everything including my flaws. After a few short steps which took me almost an eternity to end I was finally at my place which I craved as long as Kongpob did. His face gleamed with his unique smile welcomed me in a sincere way which he always used as a weapon to cover his hardships to provide me with comfort. All this possibility was just a luxury until it turned out to be an affordable one that day.
******
My phone rang for a thousand times, flashing Kongpob's & my friends' name time to time. I was clueless at that moment. On one hand my dad was gone, on the other my fiancé was waiting for me. Making a decision at this crucial moment was one of the most important things I had to do. But I was powerless against myself.
Instead of going to the venue I directed where Kongpob was. I know it was going to be ridiculous. Even more than I've imagined and more than what he could have expected of me, but I wanted him to know it before anyone. I didn't want him to get embarrassed in the middle of the crowded wedding hall. Especially, in front of his dad who has placed his utmost faith in me just the day before. I know its my wedding day, but this is the day I lose my father as well. No matter what, attending his funeral was more important than anything else on the earth. As it'll be the last time I'll be seeing him, not sitting next to him on the sofa but his body lying inside a coffin just prior to his cremation. My relation with my dad was nowhere near Kongpob & his dad, but I respected him a lot. Somewhere deep inside me there was a strong feeling for him which cried out loud hearing his death, "I love you dad, please come back." But it was impossible now. I'll be never be able to tell him that I'm finally marrying. I'll be never be able to introduce Kongpob to him, nor will I be able to see his reaction after discovering my biggest secret. I couldn't say with certainty that his reaction would have been as cool as Kongpob's dad. But I expected him to understand me more than my mother, at-least. I opened the door to our new abode where we shifted earlier in that morning. Kongpob was sitting on the sofa in the hall room, his head resting on his hand. He was dressed in his wedding suit which I chose for him. I took slow but heavy steps towards him. Without much thinking I put my hand on his shoulder and shook him to get up. After a few attempts he was awake, he stared at me with amazement which was clearly visible in his expression. He put his warm hands around my face and panicked, "What-happened?" I wanted to tell him all at once. But despite of my endless effort I ended up stammering. It felt more than just difficult to tell him I won't be able to marry him. I couldn't find a way to let him down, when he was so hopeful. Especially, when I gave him such high hopes. In fact it was me he brought the topic of getting married. Now that he was all dressed up so handsomely I couldn't utter these harsh words no matter what. He pulled me close to him and enveloped me into a hug before I could say anything. I felt so relief instantly that my pain seemed to lessen. "Kong," I said after gathering much effort. Then repeat again. "Kong," After a few seconds of pause, I finally uttered; "My dad is no more." "P' ... I'm so sorry." He then let go of me and held my hands in between his. "P'Arthit , I think you should leave the soonest possible." How quickly he said that without even giving it a thought. "But, it's our..." "I know it's our wedding, but we can get married anytime, any day! In fact we are together for such a long time. A wedding is just a formal agreement, it can't define our relation and love right?" "Are you sure you're okay with it?" I asked him. I wanted him to be sure that he meant whatever he just said. Although Kongpob was always like that, I couldn't quite believe how he prioritised everything related to me more than himself. "Do you want me to drop you?" He asked me back. The thought of my mother's reaction upon seeing him the last time appeared right in front of me. I was not certain about how she will react this time after seeing him but I wanted him to be there with me no matter what. "Alright." I told him. ***** On our way to my hometown Kongpob accompanied me. In fact he was the one to drive the car as I was not stable enough to drive. Occasionally, his & mine phone flashed with our friends name. When he couldn't bear any longer he stopped the car near a safer spot and received M's call. I was in the car so it was hard for me to hear him properly. After he got in the car I asked him, "What did you tell them?" "That something emergency came up." "What did they say?" "They understand us." I nod at him and stare out of the window. ****** Kongpob I've never smelt death before, it's so strong with these fresh flowers and incense burners getting inside me with every bit of oxygen I inhale. As soon as we reached the funeral home, P'Arthit abandoned me amidst of his relatives. Obviously, no one knew me, apart from his mom. But I was not particularly interested in meeting her. I do feel sympathy for her, but I didn't want her to create ruckus, especially, when P'Arthit was so overwhelmed. I stood at the far end corner of the room from where I was almost as invisible. Of course I was still visible or at least the most highlighted person in my wedding suit. Still I made attempt to avoid people's gaze. At that moment I realized the unpredictability of my life. I wasn't expecting to wear this suit at my boyfriend's Dad's funeral but in my wedding instead. **** Late in the afternoon when almost everyone was leaving. I was left with P'Arthit and his Mom. I could feel the tension arising between three of us.
Arthit I was a bit afraid about my mother's inevitable reaction. I didn't want her to vent her anger on Kongpob nor did I was left with the choice to retreat back as it was her worst day of life. I was deeply saddened by what happened to my dad but if I compare with my mother than my sorrow is nothing compared to her. I didn't want Kongpob to suffer more than what he already was in, so I made an attempt to tell my mom to allow us to leave. Her countenance was not enough to suggest what was up with her but she just grabbed my hands when I was about to leave. At first I was afraid that she might not let me leave. She may again insist on something unfair but she enveloped me into a tight hug as soon as I turned. We stood like that for as long as she held me. Motionless. Without uttering a single word. I didn't know either what to say so I remained mute to create the opportunity for her to speak first. With great difficulty she uttered in a squeaky tone, "Please forgive me son, but don't leave me like that. I can't live without you." I was helpless but not heartless. No matter what, whether she accepted me as normal or not. It won't change the fact that she was my mother who was intentionally drifting away from me for her own reasons. But now when she realised that I couldn't let her be alone. "Look, I'm sorry mom. But you have to accept me as who I am. I cannot live with a lie to please you." My words were somewhat hurled at her but it was not intentional. I just wanted her to understand the situation I was in. That night we, I mean me and Kongpob stayed at my home with my mother. My mother didn't talk during the dinner table, nor did she say anything later on, until during the next morning when we both set off to leave. She was not present herself but I got a letter deliberately left on the table. The letter read,
"I'm sorry if it is hard for you to accept me as your mother but I don't want you to hate me. I want you to be happy, and if you are happy with a guy then I won't intervene anymore. I was just being carried away with my social status which I realised to be of no use now. It was only your dad who mattered and then it's you who do matter." ***** I never thought she will change like that. I never expected her to treat me like before and even attend my wedding right next to Kongpob's dad with an equally bright smile as the rest. It was the turning point of my life with a load of happiness all at once. I held his hands much more confidently, all the while the priest was uttering his verses and then we spelling, one after another, "I do." At the end of the procedure the happiest moment was when he placed his lips lightly on mine and within moments it turned into a beautiful one, lips moving in synchronizing pattern ,conveying lifetime promises of never to letting go of each other. A happy end. But was that actually the end? I've heard that life goes on, though it was not very tragic but finally it was an end of a stage. And a new to begin.
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I'm sorry if it's not a very nice ending but I'm sorry to say that this is the end. I want to write many more Sotus Fanfics but I'm afraid that my updates will be not continuous anymore due to my senior year pressure. Hopefully, I'll be writing a brand new one, once I get into a university. I'm sorry if I couldn't write the story up to your expectations. Thank you for the patience and support that you showed. Yours Truly Writer
