Golden Heart *Johnny Cade*

[03] For Kicks

I winced as I gently brushed my fingertips along the cigarette burn on my neck as I was looking in the mirror. My hands were shaking as I sighed, looking down for I no longer wanted to see the bright red mark with discolored skin and small red splotches around it. I hated how it looked, it was so bright and out of place that it would be the first thing people notice when they talk or look at. Carefully, I placed a wet cloth on the burn, shutting my eyes tightly as my face scrunched up from the pain. Shaking my head, I knew that I wanted to get my revenge on the Soc who had done this to me.

I heard a soft knock on the bathroom door, making me turn to see it was Ponyboy, "You alright, M?" he asked.

"Yeah. . . I'm alright. Just tryin' to stop the pain, that's all," I barely licked my dry lips before I sighed, looking back in the mirror, "Why do Socs always have to jump us? We almost never do anything to them, but when we do, it's because they hurt one of our own."

"I don't know," Pony spoke softly as I looked at him from the reflection in the mirror, "Maybe it's because we're just trash... because we're not them."

"But it's so stupid!" I exclaimed as I hit my hand on the counter, "I-I just want them to know what it's like to be like us just for one day. To always be worried about when you're gonna get jumped next," I turned to Ponyboy, "Look at what they did to you Pone, they could have slit your throat yesterday!"

"Look at what they did to you, Maria!" he shot back, "They burned you for crying out loud!"

"It ain't as bad as cutting someone," my voice cracked as I felt like I was going to cry, "They could have slit your throat and you would have of been dead. Burning me with a weed? That would leave at most a scar."

I rested my forehead against the wall as I closed my eyes, but quickly felt the embrace of Ponyboy. He didn't say anything, he just kept hugging me as he rested his chin on top of my head.

"I just wish we would never argue. . . I wish all four of us didn't," I spoke barely above a whisper, "It's what Mom and Dad would want."

Ponyboy nodded, "Yeah. . . it's what they would want."

I turned to face Ponyboy and wrapped my arms around his neck, standing on the tips of my toes as I rested my head on my shoulder, "Why did they have to go, Ponyboy? I-If they had just stayed home. . . everything wouldn't be like this. . ."

He hugged me tighter, "Maybe. . . maybe it's just meant to be like this. Maybe it was just to bring the four of us closer together."

"But it's ripping us apart, Pone," my voice cracked once again. "Darry don't love us anymore. He probably would put you in a boys' home and put me in a girls' home but Soda won't let him."

Ponyboy didn't answer but he just kept on hugging me as I hugged him back, this was the first time in many months that we had ever brought up Mom and Dad. It always hurt too much to bring them up, sometimes it just felt like we were reliving those first couple weeks after their death.

I'm not a person who can handle the death of the ones I love well. I remember those first months after Mom and Dad died, I would stare off into space as I sat on the couch, holding on to the necklace Mom had given me while hugging the leather jacket, the same one I nearly always wear, Dad had given me for my thirteenth birthday. All I wanted to hold on to the last bit I had of them.

I opened my eyes as I heard a knock on the screen door, quickly recognizing the voice, "Anyone home?" Johnny hollered.

I unwrapped my arms from around Ponyboy, and he unwrapped his from around me, and we both walked out into the living room to see Johnny. Once he had seen us, he opened the screen door and walked in.