Rescue Me (bwwm)

Chapter 10

Chapter 10:

Being raped comes with huge side affects.

One of the many first affects is being scared of any men that gets too cozy with me.

Second side affect is having someone touch my thighs or any parts of my body.

Third affect is hearing people joke about rape which only brings back the awful vivid memories.

Fourth, not feeling safe in my own home or skin for that matter. And the worst; waking up screaming and shaking thinking that it's all happening again.

It's like living a nightmare and there's no way out of it. It's like feeling trapped, like being suffocated from living a normal life.

And I hate it.

*

My eyes shot open from my dad slamming my bedroom door open. I sat up and rubbed the sleep out of my eyes "what's wrong?" I asked. My father stood at the doorway with anger and a bit of craziness filling his eyes. He looked like an angry grizzly bear. "After I told Victoria not to go to that party you help her go, then you walk away during dinner making me look like some awful father! I'm beginning to get tiered of you always screwing up! Why can't you just grow up and do things right? You're an embarrassment!" I neatly folded my blanket and placed it on my bed. I could hear my fathers heavy breathing loud and clear. He stood at my door way with the same angry eyes, waiting for me to respond, but this time I had nothing to say to him, so he started up again. "What am I raising! What are you becoming? I don't appreciate you doing things behind my back and disrespecting me in front of my friends! You better smarten up and get your shit together." I swallowed the lump in my throat and looked up at my dad who still stood there, waiting for a response. "I have to get ready for school. Have a great day at work and I'll see you tomorrow or next week, when ever you show up again." Without a second glance I made my way into my bathroom and locked the door behind me.

*

After my shower I pulled a pair of navy blue skinny jeans, white sweater and paired them with my combats.

I walked down the steps and into the empty kitchen to make myself a bowl of cereal. The argument that my dad tried to pull was really uncalled for. He loves making sure I know how much I disappointment him, so he finds little things to yell at me for. I've learned to ignore him, even though it kills to hear half of those awful things.

After eating my cereal I grabbed my backpack and headed out the door locking it behind me and hopping into my car.

*

I ran my hands through my hair and sighed. "Smile, don't let this ruin a great day." I sat in the car, watching a bunch of high school students pass me by. I couldn't find the strength to get out, so I just sat there and watched the time.

Life is wierd, I thought to myself while chuckling a bit and letting out a frustrated sigh. After what felt like hours I grabbed my bag and got out of my truck.

When I made it to my locker Carson was there leaning against it. I must admit today he looked extremely sexy. He had on kaki jeans and a pladded button down long sleeve shirt that consisted colours of red, black, and white. His hair was in its regular style; messy, but in a neat type of way if that makes sense. He looked so calm and confident as he leaned against the locker sending a bunch of girls to smile and give him flirtatious winks, but he ignored all of them. My eyes widen a bit and I mentally slapped myself for even checking Carson out... He's the enemy I cannot forget that, but that quickly went out the door when his green eyes met my gaze. I brushed it off and made my way towards him. "Hey" said Carson with a smirk on his face, "you look good sunshine." I sighed and looked over at him "it's too early for this" I said, pulling out my books. "Too early for what?" He asked, leaning in closer to me. "Too early to see your face and put up with your flirting." He played a fake hurt and placed his hand's on his chest "you don't like seeing my face?"