This Love #Midnightsunmovie

I Hate Him, Don't I? (Allys' POV)

I ran out of the Nurses' office as fast as I could. It's a good thing I was wearing flats instead of high heels. I ran until I was at the intersection that led to my house. It was going to be a long walk, but I could care less. I couldn't face Jake, Darren nor Bay. I knew I had hurt Jake in the worst way possible. I knew he was serious back there in the Gym and in the Nurses' office. I didn't mean to lie to him. It's true that he was a 'bad boy' but, I didn't pretend to date him because of that. Now that I look back on that, I wonder why I went for the second choice, but I knew I didn't regret it. I would've chosen that if I was given the chance. I had gotten to know Jake as a friend; I was wrong to be enemies with him.
"Ally," Jakes' voice snuck into my empty mind as I neared my house, "I love you." 'Do you still love me now?' I asked myself, 'I said I hated you in front of the school and once again to you in the Nurses' office. Do you still love me now?' I opened the door to find my dad, mom and my older brother smoking weed again. I closed the door so they knew I was home.
"I'm home!" I called out, looking them.
"That's nice dear." My mom said as she took a drag of weed.
"You're home early." My bother sighed as he took a quick puff of his blunt.
"There's left overs in the fridge." My dad was the last to speak as he laid back in his chair, propped his feet on the coffee table and took a very long drag of his weed. I hated this. I hated them. They knew better than to smoke when Bay was here, so how did they know Bay wouldn't be coming back with me?
"Bay called," My bother looked at me as if reading my thoughts, his caramel eyes glazed, "he's going to stay at some guy names Darrens' place tonight." 'Oh. That's how.'
"Okay," I said as I entered the kitchen, "thanks for telling me." It was silent again as they smoked their weed. I looked in the fridge and saw that they had Meatloaf for dinner and it wasn't even cooked all the way. I decided to throw it out and cleaned the kitchen as it was dirty.
That night I went to bed hungry and ignoring all the calls and messages Jake had sent me. I knew I shouldn't be treating him like this, but I just couldn't speak to him, let alone see him, at the moment. The girl was supposed to confess, and yet there was Jake Sullivan confessing his love to me! I laid on my side as I clutched the heart necklace Jake had given me. It would hurt me so much if I had taken it off, so I let it hang on me like an added weight. A guilty weight. He had given me this necklace to express his love for me, but I had given him that Cross necklace to express our friendship together.
"You like Jake, right? Shouldn't you tell him before it's too late?" Bays' voice of reason came into my head as I closed my eyes and our conversation from earlier filled my thoughts.
"Not like that. I like him as a friend, but not as a lover." I was so sure of that.
"You are so in love." Why was this part the only thing I can remember?
"No I'm not! He's just a really good friend." I was confident about that.
"I won't say anything, but this only confirms one thing." Crap.
"What is that?" Crap. Crap. Crap.
I closed my eyes tighter, but images of short, light brown hair and caramel eyes filled my minds' eye. Memories of the way he laughed, his voice, his dimpled smile replayed over and over in my head. 'I hate him, don't I? So why does my heart ache for him? Why is my stomach in knots just thinking about him? Why. Why. Why? Why do I love him now?'