Boneca [Doll]

Junko's final note

I used to lie to myself.

Every morning, I'd wake up and repeat the words: "I am Jona. I am a man." That had been my mantra for fourteen years.

Yet, when I faced the mirror, all I saw was me. Junko.

My father used to claim that love is valuable, and I had to pay for it. So, I convinced myself: "I must keep doing this to gain my father's love."

I always believed him when he professed his love. Even though I paid a hefty price, the love he offered wasn't a facade. Deep down, I knew it was genuine. But buried even deeper, that love devoured my soul.

Yet, I loved my father. I still do. I always will. What does that make me? Naive? A masochist? Romanticizing abuse?

Feel free to judge.

But it makes me a child. Instinctually, a child loves their parents. Yes, he wronged me. True, he lost his sanity. Undoubtedly, he's an egotistical bastard. Yet, at the end of the day, he's just a pitiful father who unraveled after losing his precious son.

Feel free to judge.

But I forgive him for what he did to me. Unlike my father, I've struggled to harbor hatred. I seem incapable of it. My heart is now brimming with happiness, leaving no room for any lingering hatred. It's filled with the unconditional love that Luuk showers upon me. I just can't hate my father.

Feel free to judge.

But I just can't.