Lana is My Mother

one

"Happy birthday to you.

Happy birthday to you.

Happy birthday dear Eli

Happy birthday to you!"

My mother sang to me as I blew out my candles.

16 years old today. 16 years of misery and pain. Lovely. My first six years were terrible because my dad killed himself and my mom was never home because she was on tour. I was stuck with Peruvian nannies and no family. The other 10 was because of my stupid neighbor Fleur Jordan that obsessed over me every. single. day. Just because my mom was Eliz-...

I mean Lana Del Rey. She now goes by Elizabeth Grant so that's what I'm used too. But anyway, Fleur doesn't even love me, for me. She loves me because of my mommy. I don't know why, No offense to my mom but her music is old and outdated. It's just slow. Whenever Fleur bangs on my door I just wanna open the door, scream in her face "It's not 2014 anymore!" and slam the door.

Ever since my dad died, I just never felled the same kind of happiness he gave me. I just miss him. But I love my mom. She's all I got.

She strokes my hair as I take a bite out of the cupcake.

"Are you sure you don't want a bite?" I ask her.

She hasnt been herself the past couple of weeks. Maybe because I'm getting older or shes getting older.

"Thanks for asking but i'm ok. this is your special day. i have a gift for you." she says trying her hardest to smile. I could see the sadness behind her eyes.

She goes into the living room and grabs a small gift with sparkly green wrapping paper. The cards just a piece of white printer paper folded with my moms chicken scratch scrawled across the top of the card.

"Happy Birthday Babe." with a drawn heart. On the inside it says

"Dear Elijah Benedict Godfrey,

Happy birthday my lovely son. You are a warrior and a fighter. Unlike your mother. You've been threw so much during your first 16 years of life and I love you and I want to give you everything I can. You are my Guardian. My everything. My life. My little baby.

love,

mommy."

I look up at mommy and smile at her, she trys her best to smile at me. I tear open my present like a little kid at christmas and hold my gift in my hand.

"Elijah Through My Eyes.

Mommy (Elizabeth Grant)"

I wrap my arms around her in a tight bear hug and I feel her tear up. I hear 'I Love You' in barely a whisper and I just hug her tighter. I let go of Mommy and open up to the first page. They were notes she wrote to me while I was in the womb.

Month One, Monthe Two, Month Three, etc.

Day One.

It says in typed cursive

'Mommy and Daddy love you!'

I start tearing up. Daddy. I miss him. I miss him. I miss him. I miss his blue eyes and stubble. I miss his happy smile and smooth voice. He was the light at the end of my tunnel and he left us. He left us. He just took a gun to his temple and pulled a trigger. Leaving a bloody mess in our bathroom. A small note on our last family photo saying he was going insane and that he had to kill himself before he killed Mommy or Me. How selfish and immature.

That son of b*tch should of just asked for help or talked to us instead of blowing out his brains. It would of been better if he just left instead of scarring us for life.

Mommy screaming "Beau? Beau? BEAU?" and me screaming "Daddy? Daddy? DADDY?" and me running up to the bathroom door, opening it, and finding my dad father laying there on the cold, hard, tile floor. Blood everywhere and the gun still between his fingers. I started screaming and crying. Mommy ran over and grabbed his limp body and held him close. The next week was the wake and funeral. Everyone crying and I was just a numb six year old boy without a father and a famous mother.

Kurt Cobain all over again.

I didn't even notice I started crying until I saw tears all over the page. I looked over and saw Mommy at the door talking to Fleur.

God, I hate her. She's so annoying and so is her group of friends at school. I just want to be able to hang and talk with my friends and not be obsessed over. I'm just a human with a famous mother (who hasn't been in the spotlight for the past 10 years). Fleur handed my mom a package with black and white stripped wrapping paper and a small blue envelope. I guess Fleur knew it was my birthday. I didn't even walk over but I was trying to listen to their conversation but I didn't understand a word they said. Maybe they were speaking in French or I was just overthinking.

But one thing I knew was I missed Daddy a lot.

_____________________________

Authors Note

Pictures of Characters:

Elijah Godrey (Random tumblr model) http://bit.ly/1pc0AKi

Fleur Jordan (Random tumblr model) http://bit.ly/1ncBBky

Beau Godfrey (Benedict Cumberbatch) http://bit.ly/1qd6FWh

Elizabeth Grant (Lana Del Rey) http://bit.ly/1mTO4rO

When the story gets more in depth I'm going to update outfits to polyvore and I might make a playlist to go along with the theme. Leave some feedback below! Thanks for reading Chapter One of Lana is My Mother!