Lana is My Mother

five

Pain.

Terrifying

Lost.

Confused.

Goddammit. I f*cking hate myself. I could of prevented all of this but I was just a coward.

A coward like my father. I couldn't help anybody. I'm selfish. Just like my cowardly father and my weakling mother. I'm never going to call them 'Mom and Dad' ever again. Lana and Beau. I've been a mistake ever since March 7th, 2020. When I was born on accident. I've never had more then three friends. I've scared off anyone I've loved, I have no family, and I'm selfish. I want a life. I want to be a normal teenage boy with a family and girlfriend and lots of friends. Why did I shoo off everyone? Was I selfish just because I didn't want them around my famous mom? I'm so selfish and stupid.

I need Fleur. I looked over at her as we sit on the benches in front of the main office waiting for her dad to pick us up from school. Why after knowing her for 10 years, I never wanted to pay attention to her. Looking at her makes me feel...normal. Her long blonde locks, blue eyes, flawless features...everything was surreal about her. She was a small girl.

Her smallness turned me on...

Wait...Fleur...turning me on? We're meant to be best friends and I'm moving in with her. I can't get feelings for her. I've just gotten close with her. Was my mom a barrier?

I never had a dad. I didn't have any family. My mom shadowed me in from the world as a child. I was homeschooled until middle school. My mom always warned me about people saying don't trust anyone.

"Elijah. Don't end up like me. Please. Don't trust anyone." She would whisper in my ear in everynight.

I can trust Fleur. She's so innocent and I'm innocent. I've never had sexual feelings. Not even when I was in the middle of puberty. I've never came in contact with any girls unless when I had too. Girls were yucky. Until now. Fleur was a beautiful goddess who held my heart in both hands and honestly made me feel special.

"Are you ok?" Questioned Fleur "You've been staring at the door for awhile."

I chocked out a gasp. If only she knew what I was looking at.

"I'm fine. I'm promised." I said. Truthfully.

Fleur knows I have a past of depression and pain. She wraps her arms around me and starts crying. I started crying too.

"Show me your wrists. I want to see what could of been prevented. I love you." she whimpered.

"I adore you, gorgeous." I said mesmorized by her bright skin. I refused to pull up my sleeve and she saw the worry in my eyes. She wiped her tears with her sleeve. Her skin looked so soft and her blue eyes shined threw the redness, the things that I would do to her would honestly ruin my innocence.

Maybe it's time for me to grow up and be the boy I'm really supposed to be.

Fleurs dad walked up to us and gave me a little nod.

"I'm so sorry for yo-..." He said as I cut him off.

"It's really fine. Can we go home now?" I pleaded.

He looked over Fleur and I saw her smiling. I was wondering what was going through her head. How does she feel about me? What does she think about her life? I barely know the real Fleur. I just know she's innocent on the outside and nice on the inside.

But things can change...

~~~

Woah Eli!!! Calm down.

This chapter is rlly short I know, I know. But I'm proud of it.

This story is going to be quite dynamic... :כ

Fleurs Outfit: http://polyv.re/1pyz5X7

Eli's outfit: http://polyv.re/1pKgYj2