Revenge On The Player

Chapter 19 (Edited)

Amanda instantly invited me into her house when she noticed my distressed expression and the clear tear stains on my cheek from crying on the way here. It was hard to drive and it was stupid of me to do so but I luckily managed. Amanda pulled me into a hug, letting me cry on her shoulder while she rubbed my back to try and comfort me.

"What happened?" she asked as she guided me to the couch in her living room to sit down. I kept quiet, hesitant to tell her the truth. "You can trust me, I'm not going to judge," Amanda reassured me as she held onto my hands.

"I almost kissed Jack," I muttered in a rush.

"You almost kissed Reece!?" she exclaimed with wide eyes, taken aback. I pray that there's no one in her house that just heard that or I'd be embarrassed. "How did that happen?"

"We got caught up in the moment while we were slow dancing and before I knew it, we were leaning in but I realised before anything could happen and ran off," I explained. I cast my eyes down to my lap and fiddled with my hands. Amanda sighed.

I already feel ashamed of my actions but I can't just turn back time as if I were in some Marvel universe, as much as I wish I were. If only I could forget what happened. The awful thing is, firstly, I'm a horrible human being and secondly, things are going to be incredibly awkward if I go back to Lisa's place. I can't go back, not now, not when I can't even face Jack without immense guilt.

"I'm not angry at you or judging you Amy, you can relax," Amanda reassured me. "I don't believe you had bad intentions."

"I know but how will Sarah react? How will Dillon react!? Oh god, he's already been jealous of Jack, this will just make him lose his shit and prove that he was right for his mistrust in me and Jack!" I cried as I buried my face in my hands. Amanda instantly wrapped her arms around me, pulling me into her arm.

"Listen, I can't tell you what to do, that'll have to be your decision, but what I can say is that you shouldn't be beating yourself up about this, you stopped it before anything could go further. Though I do think you should talk about this to either Sarah or Dillon when you're ready," she advised. I remained silent.

She was right. I knew she was right. It doesn't mean the fear in me will diminish; it's very much still there and will remain, my mind racing with negative scenarios of how they could both react. Dillon would freak out and he would have a right to. Sarah would probably be mad at me and that's also understandable. I just don't want to lose them because of my stupid actions and lack of control over my emotions.

"Amy, look at me," Amanda demanded as she put her hands on my shoulders. I glanced towards her with a deep frown. "You're not going to go through this alone, I will be there to support you ok?"

"Why would you?" I questioned.

"Because you're my best friend, I can see how much this is killing you, the guilt is eating you alive, you had no ill intention, others would, you stopped yourself, you know what you did is wrong, and you want to fix things, you're learning from your mistakes," she stated. I sighed.

Nothing is going to make me feel any better until I get everything off my chest. I want to talk to Dillon mainly but my fear is what's preventing me from telling him. I know that if I prolong the inevitable, it will only make things worse but I just want a day or two to just prepare myself on how I'm going to tell Dillon and Sarah.

"You'll be alright ok?" Amanda said.

I nodded numbly at her but inwardly I didn't believe that. I hate that I put myself in this predicament and am put in a position where I'm scared to say anything. This is all my fault and now I'm paying the price for my actions.