Finding My Will

Chapter 2

     The carriage ride to the school was bumpy and boring. Mr. Brocklehurst had taken a special interest in "the saving of my soul." I was not too pleased with this as Mrs. Reed had told him that I was deceitful, which I was not. I hated both of them.

     The boys and I were of to Lowood. It was normally an all girl's school, but an exception was being made, and a room was set aside for the board of the boys. Jem and I were the most excited for school. Jem fostered a love for learning, and I loved reading. He didn't mind Brocklehurst as much as I did. He kept on interrupting Brocklehurst's lectures with theological questions, and after awhile Brocklehurst shifted his ideas onto a new pupil.

     Monty was naturally angry about the move, and had decided to steal some of Mrs. Reed's alcohol and cigarettes as a sort of farewell. Will was hard to read, and Fritz, well, he was having a bit of a manic period. I feared he would not be at Lowood long if we did not conceal it. As of now, Fritz had locked his eye on Brocklehurst's. His chin was pointed down and his gaze pointed up. He was making Brocklehurst visibly uncomfortable, and just as he was about to say something to Fritz I yelled out, "We're here!"

     Lowood appeared in the window and a young, nice-looking lady was waiting outside to greet us. Butterflies filled my stomach and I looked at Will with a hopeful gaze which was reciprocated. I had a good feeling about this place.

                                                                                              ***

     Time passed and it was now springtime at Lowood school. I often heralded in spring with happiness, but sadly, this year, typhus fever had broken out, and Will had caught it.

     But, before I get to that, reader, let me fill you in. Lowood was good for us. Though it may not seem so, with the fever and all, it really was. Jem had grown apart from us. He now studied directly under Brocklehurst, and was delighted in his new theological study. This was sad for us, but it was nice to see him so happy. He had grown close to a Miss Helen Burns and there were rumours that they were to be married upon leaving Lowood. As for Monty, he had become something of a bad boy. The teachers disliked this, but there were quite a few girls who fancied themselves in love with him.

     Fitz's insanity became steadily harder and harder to hide, and it came to a peak during one of Brocklehurst's sermons. He was preaching about the eye of God and how it saw all. This bothered Fitz. It seemed he had a bit of an aversion to eyes. Fitz became gradually more fidgety and loud with his grunts during the sermon, and eventually he leapt onto Brocklehurst and sunk his teeth into his shoulder. Brocklehurst had screamed like a girl, and the next day he declared that Fritz would be sent to an institution. We haven't heard from Fitz since.

     As I said before, Will had caught typhus fever. I held out hope for his recovery and visited him everyday, bringing stories and gossip from the outside world. While the other boys and I grew apart, Will and I grew closer than ever. Today as I went to visit him, I noticed something was different. Monty, Helen, and Jem were standing at the foot of Will's bed. This was strange as I was the only one who ever visited. They were quiet. I walked over to the group and pushed my way between them. Will wasn't there.

     "Where's Will?" I asked. My pulse quickened and I looked frantically around.

     "Mrs. Reed came and took him," Helen said with feigned sympathy written all over her face.

     "He was already halfway through the door to Heaven," Jem said.

     "Why are you even here?" I yelled at Helen, "You don't even know Will!"

     Jem put an arm in front of Helen and said, "Everything happens for a reason, Jane," in a patronizing tone. He smiled and patted me on the shoulder.

     "I'll pray for you," Helen said. Jem and her walked out together. I sat down on the bed and started to cry. Monty sat down and put his arm around me.

     "I can beat them up if you want me to," he said. He was serious.

     "Is Will dead?" I looked at Monty through my tears and asked.

     He took his cigarette out of his mouth and hesitated for a moment. "I'm sure he is by now. He probably didn't even last the carriage ride back. I'm sorry."

                                                                                                ***

                                                                                 [Gateshead. Will.]

I recovered from typhus fever, but I never recovered from being kicked onto the streets to fend for myself.