The Canyon Calls Me Home

.War Of Understanding.

Okay, before I get into this, I just wanted to say: I've been stuck.

I really like where this is going but I cannot figure out what to write. I keep getting stuck and deleting what I've previously wrote, so I think this story is doomed because I don't know what to write. Hopefully I get this out before the end of the month. Whatever I come up with probably will be bad and something that won't be read a lot but who knows as I'm typing this. Let's just see where this takes me.

Also I don't know if I have said this before but a lot of the Used's timeline I'm mixing around. Just know that I know Kate died during the recording of In Love and Death, I'm just mixing stuff around and making thing different then true reality.

--Months Later--

"Luca, please help. Please? He's fucking damaging himself and all you do is say nothing and pretend that this isn't apart of your life. Seriously you need to come back." Quinn took a deep breath. He was hurting and so was Bert. I loved them both fully, but honestly I couldn't help either of them. I had changed and become better and moved on. Bert stayed in his substance abusing head and never let go of me. He needed to move on already. I had, so why wasn't he?

"Just tell him that I'll be over there with Jordan soon." I sighed and hung up the phone, putting it down on the floor and holding my head in the hands. This was awful. I hadn't seen him in 3 months.

"Babe what's the matter?" He found me on the kitchen floor. I was up against the cabinets, my legs were pushed up to me chest and I was crying. 

"Jordan, Quinn called and told me Bert is still fucked up." I sighed as he sat down.

"He should be over you by now."

"He told me I was his forever, and then he started getting into drugs again. This time everything, not just his heroin. I left him and it's been months, he's still hung up. Quinn wants me over there tonight and I agreed to go." 

Jordan grabbed my hands and kissed my forehead softly. "I want to come with you. I don't want Robert to hurt you, or anyone for that matter. I know he needs to get over you and honestly I think this isn't a good idea. He needs to go out in the world and start to see others. I hear you talk about him cramped in that house all day and it's not good for him. If he really wants to get better he needs to revisit a place that makes him happy, not see the girl that he thought he could have forever and keep his addiction with." 

"Yeah, I know." I looked down, "I'm doing this for Quinn too. He calls me all the time and tells me about the shit Bert does. And how often Quinn tries to get him out of the house. He tries, and this is the last resort. I think he might miss me as well, we had good memories in that house." I smiled at the thought. 

"Alright, sweetheart I won't fight you on this." He held onto my hands a little tight, and let go seconds later. "I'm gonna go get a shower and we can talk more about this. I was thinking that maybe we could get lunch beforehand? It's been a while since we've been out." He got off the ground and looked into my eyes, asking for my answer. His were a greenish-blue. I had a definite thing for guys with gorgeous eyes.  Jordan had short dirty blonde hair and was about the same height as me. His personality differed to how Bert was, being clean and living in his own apartment.

I had met him before I had left Bert, I met him at a show that Bert was playing. He was in a band called The Used and they were one of my favorites, even though we had broken up, I still listened to them and I had a tattoo on my shoulder of the band's first album cover. They were a huge impact on my life and the music was amazing, I just pretended now it wasn't Bert who sang those songs. 

Jordan had been in the crowd that night and we talked. We became friends and then soon after that, Bert started messing around with drugs after we had made the promise not to. He'd be gone and come back to Quinn's days later with a somber expression and people who I didn't even know. These people would come in and out of the house every day and then I'd find Bert knocked out on his bed and a naked woman beside him on days that I would be busy with work. I would come home each day and feel like shit. It was my fault that I had been gone and away from him and he would fuck things up. 

I had finally found a job, in a little coffee shop where I had also sold my art. I worked a few days a week to help Quinn pay for expenses and other things, since his family finally said, "You have to pay for everything now." I felt bad, especially with Bert using Quinn for his addiction and staying there in that house. We hadn't talked about it much but I wasn't sharing a room with Bert anymore and I stopped talking to him. It was hard but he was going downhill, and I couldn't handle it.

I tried helping him but he wouldn't listen, he would always just ignore me and leave. One day I just packed up and left for Jordan's. I left a note for Quinn and told him where the house was just in case he wanted to stop by. I'm guess right after he told Bert and he broke down. Quinn told me that the night after I had left is when Bert started to come to his senses, then he relapsed yet another time. 

Jordan and I had become good friends when I moved in, but then one thing led to another and I was in a relationship. He was a good person, held a job at his parents hardware store and always told me about the kinds of people who came in. He was also a poet who had his own band on the side. We lived about an hour or so away from Quinn's place and it was peaceful. I missed my old chaotic live but I had gotten used to this. It was nice. 

I nodded finally after thinking. "I'll get ready as well." He took my hands and pulled me out of my space in the kitchen. I didn't feel sad anymore. 

But I worried how Bert would be.