Dark Alley

Chapter 28

     Tracy started not talking to me again. And again it makes me sick because this time, she's already acting like she's ashamed of me. Yesterday wasn't much of a good day for Tracy and if that wasn't a good day for her then it means it wouldn't be for me.

     After I got out of bed I quickly went to the dining room and found Calvin with his newspaper held with his two fingers on his both hands.

     "Good morning Foster," he says, "breakfast?"

     "Yup," I say. I just couldn't and can never resist breakfast, "but before that I just want to talk about something with you."

     Calvin folds the newspaper in half and placed it on the table, then he gives me a look, like a semi-furious, semi-worried look when you hear someone asking you they're about to tell you something in a semi-scared tone. "What is it Foster? Is there something wrong at school? Did you kill that Dean already?"

     "No," I say, "actually it's about Tracy, and a little bit of school, about Dean and about you."

     "Me?" He asks defensively, "what does that have to do with me?."

     "Yes it has something to do with you," I nodded, "I heard about the sca- I mean that tragic thing that happened to Tracy at school a year ago and how it had an impact on you."

     Calvin gave a hard sigh, "yes I admit I was very disappointed."

     I know for sure he knew what I meant, and I wish has has time to listen. Calvin leaned back on his chair and cleared his throat first before he asked me to start talking, "what's your concern Foster?"

     "Calvin she's your daughter," I started, "and it's like she lives here for free without your knowledge because you treat her like she's invisible."

     "That's not true!"

     "Well then what is the truth?" I ask, "Calvin she thinks evil of me before I got here, she curses me for having so much time from you."

     "Foster stop," he says, "I know I was wrong."

     "I am glad you know," I tell him.

     "I was disappointed and afraid, I was afraid because I don't know how to become a father. I don't know how to be proud. First she was into music, it was ok, I tried to learn her types, her likes until I realized it all changed, I don't know if it was for her best. Until that school scandal happened. I don't know how to forgive her. She was already designed to be perfect but she failed me."

     "Designed?" I ask. "Calvin, don’t treat your daughter like she was some kind of lab experiment, like the way you treat me. She doesn't deserve that."

     "Well," he pauses, "what do you want me to do?"

     "Simple, talk to her," I say as if I'm good at talks like these. I don't know where I get this courage to moral Calvin for being a bad father - but maybe it's from the heart. "Spend time with her. I hope you realise that your family is more important than me and I maybe living longer but they aren't. Maricriss is getting older and eventually die, same thing with Tracy and you. Me, I will die alone and it's okay for me because I am already used to being alone and isolated. But in Tracy's case, she can't die yet, not yet without you forgiving her."

     Calvin covers his face with his hands, his ankles supported on the edge of the table. Is he crying? I knew he was when he started sobbing.

     "Calvin are you okay?" I asked calmly.

     He shook his head still not showing his face, "I'm a dumb person, a dumb father."

     "I am glad you realized that," I whisper, close enough to make him hear it.

     "I should go see her," Calvin stood up from his seat and I could see his face damped and red. I see him going upstairs repeating Tracy's name to call her attention.

     I don't know how much impact I gave on Calvin, and if it was that big, I wouldn't believe it would come from me - but maybe it came from my semi-infatuation-attraction for Tracy and also her background story, mixed with my past story.