Dark Alley

Chapter 30

     "No," Calvin says, "I won't let you, Foster's past life was confidential and it was a part of the contract your parents signed before they gave you as our responsibility."

     Tracy and I tried asking Calvin about what we thought in the cafeteria. It has something to do with knowing my real identity, meeting my parents. Hearing Calvin saying no simply broke Tracy's heart more than mine.

     "Dad, this is Foster's chance to fill up the missing pieces of him," Tracy says, "give him a chance."

    Calvin sighed uncontented, "Can I have a word with you Foster? As in alone."

     "Sure," I say. I look at Tracy and we both nodded, she understood what Calvin meant and left. There was only me and haggard Calvin in the living room.

     "Look Foster," Calvin says, "I don't want to make you feel bad but this whole you going to the real world is a part of the experiment and not a TV reality show where in I get to be a the god of wishes and grant your wish in meeting your folks after years of not seeing them."

     "I know you might think of me this unfair again and you would think of me as the bad person again, but no, I promise you - I saw how easy your parents released you and gave you to us, for money. I hope you haven't forgotten what I said to you about them."

     "But Calvin I just thought that maybe they missed me? I just want to see them again."

     "That won't change my decision boy, and even if I will you still won't find them, because they're probably dead."

     "It doesn't matter if they're dead or alive Calvin," I tell him, "I remember, I have this younger sibling from my parents. Maybe if we could just find her I could -"

     "Please stop," Calvin says, raising his hand at me like he was blocking what I was about to say, "why haven't I thought about this, I should've thought about this before I brought you here."

     "Calvin, I'm never going to be forever naive," I say, "I'm starting to learn new things. I learn to be social. And even if you bring me back to that alley I will always remember what I learned here. But please don't bring me back right now. Because I am not ready."

     "First of all," he says, he raised his index finger and continues, "It’s still a no." The he raises his thumb, "and second, is that I get to decide whether you are ready to go back inside or not. It could be a month from now, a week, a day, or worse tomorrow. So stop budging me with your desires inspired by my daughter, because it will never be a good idea and also I just got settle with her, I don't want to be disappointed with her again by giving you hopes that aren't meant to be, well, hoped."

     I clenched my jaws as I feel Calvin leave. I unconsciously bit my finger nails again and realized I was biting it as I was chewing them on my mouth.

     I went back to my room and found Tracy lying on my bed like she used to. My disappointed face gave her a clue not to ask about what her dad and I talked about. I see Tracy and realized about what Calvin said 'I don't want to be disappointed with her again.' I realized that if I push Calvin more about it, he would just realize Tracy was planning about sabotaging his experiment. I don't want to see Tracy sad again.

     "Want me to play you some music?" Tracy asks, she stretches her hand throught the bed's left end table to get the blue speaker placed.

     "Sure," I tell her. I see Tracy excitedly pushing buttons on the speaker. And for the hundredth click she found the song and placed the speaker back on the end table.

    At first the song had this long instrumental intro. Then the vocals came in, and it was slow and sad. It reminds me of my past life, where I get to sit on my father's lap and listen to the same music but then we still enjoy it - because we both agreed that it's special.

     "Why do you pick this song?" I ask Tracy.

     "Because it's sad," she answered, staring at the ceiling, while her hands both placed on her stomach as she lay back on my bed. "I want to be sad for you."

     I jumped on my bed and lied a foot next to her, now there are both of us starring at the ceiling.

     "Maybe you should put stars on the ceiling," she says, "so the next time you look at it, there's something to look forward at."

     "So that explains all those dolls hanging on your room," I ask. We both giggled.

     "Yeah, maybe that's why," she says, "I really like you Foster, I really do."

     "Yeah, me too."

     "Now let's just stare at the ceiling forever until I get tired."

     "Deal."

     "Or maybe not," Tracy says, hilariously rolling out from my bed, falling from the ground, "I kind of remembered I have a homework to make."

     "On second thought," I say, raising my index finger, "I think I should make mine too."