Just thoughts about the universe

Aesthetic

Sometimes I just want to write and draw and live all at once, but at the same time i feel so depressed that i cant move and then i just want to die.  But i still want to live.  I feel like im trapped inside my mind a lot, so i turn to fandoms to get my mind off how i feel and i read to go places i can't go myself.  Sometimes i feel inspired but don't know how to use my inspiration so i end up writing it.  But sometimes i wish i could do more than just write, but that just makes me frustrated.  Why do i feel this way?? Why do I have to feel certain toward one person but not another?? Why do i feel everything at once or nothing at all?? Why do i feel surrounded and alone at the same time?? When will i feel human again??