Slightly less unfortunate after all (Klaus Baudelaire x reader)

A murder enquiry Pt. 1

Your POV

I woke up in Klaus' bed, with his arms around my waist and his chin on my forehead. His breathing was calming, for a moment I forgot all about my dad being in the house. But I couldn't forget when he banged on the walls, shouting that we were going to Peru. I got up and carefully opened the door. When count Olaf shouted again, this time banging on Violet's door,  I couldn't take it "no, Uncle Monty is taking us tomorrow." I said plainly. He then ran over to me "you listen here you stupid girl" he snarled, "I have to keep the orphans safe to gain their fortune. You, on the other hand, are easily disposable. If, that is, you don't want to help me get rid of them" I stopped and looked at him. He could kill me right now if I said no, but these children are my only friends and are the closest I've ever had to a real family. I couldn't do that to Klaus. "No, you horrid man" I spat. "And you aren't taking me anywhere, uncle Monty won't let you take us" I added. "Oh" he said slyly. "Why don't you go and ask him yourself?" This can't be good I thought as I ran downstairs. When I arrived Violet was already opening the door. I stood next to her as the door opened to reveal uncle Monty, dead, in his chair. I instantly reached for Klaus' hand but he wasn't there. "Klaus!" I shouted. Within moments he was stood next to me, holding my hand as we all took in the same sad truth. Uncle Monty was dead.

I squeezed on Klaus' hand and burried my head into his neck. Sadly in doing this I didn't notice Sunny being taken into a suitcase by Count Olaf. When I heard the door we all turned to see my father at the door with 2 suitcases in hand. "Come on orphans, and Y/N, we have to go". "What are you talking about?" I asked. "We aren't going anywhere with you" Violet added as she went to pick up Sunny. At this point we all saw that she was no longer there. Count Olaf said something that I didn't hear then shook a suitcase and a very Sunny like noise came out. "Sunny!" Klaus said. As he turned around he hit a suitcase on the door frame. We all ran outside. When we arrived Count Olaf started talking again. "Don't forget to leave some breathing holes" he said as he stabbed the case. "Don't worry." I wispered, "she's in the other one". Klaus looked at me and nodded. But Violet shouted "Stop!" "Don't worry, that's not the suitcase she's in" Olaf said. Klaus squeezed my hand as if to tell me I was right. "Or at least I don't think" he added. We all got in the car to keep Sunny safe. As we were driving away me, Violet and Klaus were trying to think of any way to get out of this.

"You can't just take us out the country" klaus said. "Can  he?" He asked quietly. I knew he could. Especially because I'm his child. But then I saw a car coming the other way. "Stop!" I yelled. "Oh, you think I'd listen to you? My useless daughter." Count Olaf responded. I felt a horrid feeling rush over me but it soon stopped when we swerved to avoid Mr. Poes car. "Mr. Poes car" I shouted. "Are you okay?" I added hastily when I saw Klaus. "Yeah I'm fine - wait, did you say Mr. Poe?" He asked. We all instantly got our the car and while Klaus went to retrieve Sunny, me and Violet tried talking to Mr. Poe. But to no avail. He still didn't believe a thing. It would be hopeless. "wait, why did you come here Mr. Poe? I mean, I'm glad you did, but it seems pretty unexpected." I asked plainly. "Oh, I was just dropping off the Baudelaire's and Y/Ns passports." Mr. Poe said quite calmly as he took them out of his pockets. Count Olaf instantly snatched them. "Thank you, you can leave now" count Olaf said in his fake voice. "Wait, I'm sorry, who are you?" Mr. Poe asked. "I am Stefano, I am, sorry, WAS Monty's assistant" count Olaf said. "What do you mean WAS? Why aren't you anymore?" Mr. Poe inquired. "Because uncle Monty is dead" Klaus shouted. "What do you mean dead?" He asked. "He was bitten by a snake, so terribly sad" Count Olaf lied. "No he wasn't, Count Olaf killed him" I yelled as I pointed at Stefano. "Oh, no Y/N. Count Olaf isn't here. Just this very nice assistant." "No, this is my dad, and he's trying to take us all away!" I shouted. "Don't you miss the imagination of childhood" count Olaf said. "I never had one" said Mr Poe, "what, an imagination or a childhood?" I asked knowing full well and I never got one either. Actually I did. When I was with my baby sitter.

"Wait, Count Olaf has a tattoo on his left ankle, it looks like an eye" Klaus said. But when he pulled up his trouser Lev and pulled down his sock it had gone. I never knew why he had that tattoo but I knew others who had it as well. I think my mother did.

However that doesn't matter because now we're all  inside waiting for the police. Who aren't coming. But I've given up trying. I just got dressed with Klaus and Violet so we can at least be ready for the madness that will likely follow. "Someone's at the door" I said. Mr Poe opened the door to reveal a man in a nurses outfit. As the nurse and Count Olaf made their way to the reptile room I looked at Klaus. "That's the guy from dad's acting troupe" I said plainly. Klaus nodded then asked the nurse about his/her mask. They said something about reptiles being contagious that I didn't hear well from the stairs. Me and Violet gave each other worried looks as we joined Klaus near the reptile room door.

Finally Count Olaf was forced to go with the nurse inside. "Oh I am sorry. Dr. Monty seemed like an appropriate guardian for you children" Mr Poe said once they left. "He was much more that that" Klaus said sadly. "He was my first real family" I said sadly.

Klaus' POV

Y/N said that the last few weeks had been her first family. I squeezed her hand lightly and looked into her eyes. They were a deep E/C. As we both leaned into each other I  could feel my heart beating faster. Y/N closed her eyes as our lips came closer. But before they met we all heard a terribal scream. couldn't we have just had a bit longer?

Once we arrived in the reptile room we saw a very squeamish nerse Lucafont looking quite unwell. Y/N said that it was one of her dad's theater troupe members. I had a plan to prove this to Mr Poe. Suddenly count Olaf explained "you have come just in time, the nurse has finished her autopsy." Y/N grabbed my hand as we continued to listen. "Snake bite" the nurse said. "Your proof?" Y/N asked sweetly. "2 bite marks on the cheek, only a snake could have done that" he/she said as they lifted their hands to show where the snake marks were. "For one: that's the neck, and two: lots of spiders could have done that depending on how far apart the marks are" Y/N mumbled quietly but only me and Violet heard her. She was really clever, it really is a shame that noone heard her. "I also found the venom of the deadlines snake in the world in Monty's blood" the nerse said monotonously. "Oh that's horrible, which one?" Mr Poe asked. "The incredibly deadly viper" count Olaf emphasized every word. "No,the incredibly deadly viper is one of the least deadly and most friendly animals in the animal kingdom." Y/N and Violet said together. "Come now girls, it's called the incredibly deadly viper" Mr Poe pointed out. "Yes" I cut in "but it's a misnomer, that means a very wrong name." I explained. "I should know all about it, I discovered it" count Olaf said. "You what?!" I said loudly and completely inraged. "The incredibly deadly viper wouldn't hurt anyone and we can prove it." Violet said. "How can you prove it when you don't even know where it is?" Count Olaf asked. "We know we're it is, it's r-" but it wasn't right there. It wasn't in its cage. "Fleeing the scene of a crime, highly suspicious" Count Olaf whispered. "Snakes don't understand the idea of fleeing crimes" Y/N retorted. Count Olaf just shushed her. Mr Poe stood and added "it's all falling into place. Monty must have left the cage door unlocked so it was able to  sneak out and kill him." Then count Olaf said "I don't know what Monty did to create the blood lust in the snakes brain. I know nothing about snakes, I have just got here and scarcely had time to learn. But I hear the slimy creatures can hold a grudge." "That's the problem with exotic pets, maybe nature can't be tamed" Nurse Lucafont said. I took this chance to act on my plan. "Sorry what was your name?" I asked. He/she told me but I asked again. They told me a second time but I said the mask was in the way. This time they ripped it off and in their normal voice said "I said I'm nurse Lucafont". "Mr Poe that's not a nurse at all" I said. "It's one of count Olaf's accomplishes" violet added. "I had to feed them and watch their plays for years, I'd know what they look like." Y/N added. Mr Poe just looked at her and said "don't worry, count Olaf is hundreds of miles away right now." Though we all knew he wasn't. "What was that?" Y/N and Mr Poe asked. "The incredibly deadly viper could be anywhere and ready to strike again." Count Olaf said quickly. At that moment the clock in the hall struck. "It's struck again" I chuckled and Y/N giggled slightly dispite of the situation we were in, I loved her laugh and it made my heart beat in my chest. I only looked up when count Olaf said "quarantine". I looked at him confused as he hit his arm then said it again only louder this time. But then a group of people ran through the door. All of them were members of Count Olaf's theatre troupe. However no matter what we told Mr Poe he wouldn't believe us. "But Klaus that man is clearly opening a jar of peaches with hands, not hooks." "That's uncle Monty's food. Stop eating his food" I shouted.

A/N: I am so so so sorry that this is late. I've been planning up the entire story but in currently in Paris and the WiFi is terrible so I'm uploading this in a Starbucks. They should be slightly more evenly distributed from now on as well.