crush dairy

"9"

Turns out I didn't really ignore her

I was taking to my friends and I hugged my guy friend that usually gives me food

I saw her

But I didn't say anything

She surprisingly said hi to me first

But I did run up to her and hugged her

Stupidly 🙄

She didn't hug me but i gave her a weird side hug

She gave me this look

I don't know but she like looked sad for some reason

I kinda gave it no thought and I still don't wanna say I don't like her

I feel like something could happen but I know it won't so I can just hug her as a friend and leave her alone

I've basically liked her for like five years now

It's over

I really want to convince myself that

The thought of me not being able to have her as mine has hurt less

I feel like I've just been lonely

I'm more happy as a person

I will

I WILL

Only be friends with her

Because that's all she's gonna give

Because she doesn't know

She still doesn't know I like her

Maybe she does

Because that weird,sad,emotionless face she gave me today when I gave her a hug

She was just happy with her friend

If she thinks I like her it will ruin everything

I know

Amara

My friend

Just someone I use to like

I have to convince myself

I feel like I maybe have

But that feeling of her maybe liking me back just brings be back to me liking her

I take moments and take possible scenario and I think hard

Did she act that way because she was friendly or does she like me back

It usually ends with if she strait and she's just being friendly

Like I said I quit

I guess Amara's just a really good friend

And that hug

Gosh .... it just made me want to quit even more