crush dairy

"4"

I don't exactly think I love you or I'm in love with you because I've never experienced it before

I'm sure I just really like you

I fell for you but it's not your fault

It was mine

Knowing your straight and falling anyways

I still don't think it's my fault either

You just being you attracts people

Specifically me ..and your boyfriend

I have nothing against him

I'm not the type to hate someone just because they have the one I want

I know we have no chance of being together but there's always a small chance that's in my imagination that keeps me liking you and It won't ever stop I'm sure

Falling for straight girls or your first girl crush is gonna be a real keeper in your head of thoughts

Your always gonna remember

In movies and shows they portray girl or guy characters to have a crush on the same sex as them and they most likely always end up with who they like

In real life there are very small chances like that

If it was easy everyone would be with who they want

It's even harder for me as a girl being bisexual and liking a girl ,not knowing if she is flirting or being nice

Or if I'm in my fucking ass

imagining again

we're just friends being friends right

An innocent hug that actually hits me harder than she thinks

She can make me nervous so quickly

She can walk into a room and I'll just look at her

During our bus schedule thing I wait in the bus and look for her

I've just gotten back to riding the bus because I had volleyball practice

Usually I would be a car rider but today I didn't have practice -

I wait for her to come out inside my bus

Not to talk to her but like admire her from afar

Today she came out with an umbrella because it was raining

The umbrella flew a little covering her face

She continued to walk to her bus as I watch and smile

How can she have such big effects on me from barely doing anything

I like her so much

She will never know

probably never will

I am thankful for her in my life for just making me smile

I don't get real smiles everyday

,thanks Amara