perfect || michael clifford [slow updates]

.02

All I thought on the way home was

What the hell was I thinking?

Why did I agree to this?

I can't do this. I can not do this.

My mom always used to say "if you believe you can achieve" I swear it's part of the mom pamphlet they get.

I don't believe in myself one bit, but apparently Calum does...?

But I'm not going to make it through this experiment just based on his will.

I'm still not fully understanding why it had to be me specifically like Calum could have simply chose a prettier and dumber (if I might add) girl who could just as easily try to commit to Michael dumbass Clifford without sobbing cause she wanted to take her answer back.

But no. Now it's me. And I'm fucked.

I sulked into my house ignoring the calls from my older brother, Graham, walking up the stairs with heavy footsteps.

I walked into my dark blue room and didn't even bother taking my bag, shoes, or jacket off before I flopped face down on my bed.

My brown hair tickling my neck as it fell upon my comforter.

All of my thoughts running through my mind overwhelmed me.

I lied there for 10 minutes before I practically rolled off my bed before I walked over to my dresser where I stared at myself in the mirror.

Boring brown hair, weird green eyes, and same obnoxiously short height.

I didn't have boobs like I was probably the most flat chested girl ever and I certainly had no butt.

How am I supposed to make any guy let alone Michael think I'm so great. How am I supposed to be some type of dream girl?

I pulled up my shirt standing in front of the mirror standing to the side. Yeah, no way i'm model skinny. I'd like to think I'm average weight.

I pulled my shirt down and sighed. This is like mission impossible. Sure, I've had my share of dates and kisses but never with someone serious. And you see my lyrics are pretty serious. I would not ever call myself John Lennon, but I work really hard on them. But I never wanted anyone to see them.

How in the hell was I supposed to get Michael Clifford to like me? And let's keep in mind the fact that he is a complete asshole. Why Michael? Not any of other Calum's friends? Not that'd I'd date Ash or Luke. But Michael. Michael the one who teased me about my teeth for 6 years. The Michael who ruined my first relationship with Dean in 8th grade. The Michael who cut my hair off while I slept one time. God I hate that kid.

I hate the dumb little smirk he does and I hate his annoying laugh that can be heard from a mile away. I don't understand how the guys put it up with him at all. I'd proabably kill him if I ever hung out with him. I certainly always want to kill him when I'm around him.

I was lost in thought, as my brother walked into my room.

"Graham, out."

"Nah little sis, I want to know what's going on in that wonderful litte life of yours," he smirked as he sat down on my bed.

"Well I have an annoying brother who was named after a fucking cookie," I snapped, "And I'd appreiciate if he left me the hell alone."

I turned around to face him and crossed my arms over my chest. I was not in the mood to have one of those quality heart-to-heart brother sister chats.

"C'mon Kay," he tried.

"No and don't call me that!"

I pulled his arm getting him off my bed and pushed him toward the door.

"Why? Can only Calu-," he stopped, "Oh I see what's going on here."

A small smile appeared on his face.

"You're having boy troubles. You like Calum."

I stopped pushing him as my jaw dropped and my eyes widened. Graham thought I liked Calum?

"No!" I practially yelled.

"It's okay, I approve."

I tried to talk but he kept talking, "he isn't too much of a nerd and he's-"

"Graham STOP I don't like Calum!"

His face suddenly looked confused. "Then who's the boy?"

I swear if we were about to have a conversation about boys I would throw up.

I wanted to hit him in the face or kick him in the balls or something.

"There is no boy!" I screamed desperately.

"Oh then what's wrong?"

I sighed and finally pushed him out of my room, closed, and locked my door.

As much as I loved my brother, he could be a pain in my ass.

A heard the bell ring. I left Graham to answer it. I figured it was Elliott, Graham's friend or something.

Ha friends something Graham had and I didn't. The pleasure of human affection.

Why do human depend on affection from other people. People are utterly weak and shallow.

Five minutes later a knock came on my door.

"What the hell do you want Graham?" I yelled.

No answer.

I groaned and walked over to my door

"Graham if you don't-" I started as I opened the door but behind the door wasn't Graham.

"Ashton?"

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This actually sucks & I'm not proud lol. Sorry bout that but this is more to get into the head of Kaylie and her thoughts; more stuff in the next chapter

Also it's like 2am and I'm super like not tired just lazy so sorry for any mistakes