The Diary Of Leonna Woods

Rain Drops

 Once again i find myself writting to you. 

     Today I have been locked up in this white suburbian dump. But the pitter patter of the rain on my tin porch roof keeps me company, as i watch with an open window. The lightening lights the heavens, and as the thunder roars mightely, echoeing the sound of strenghth and fear over the still ground of the earth. And in seconds, the rain gets heavier, and heaveier, the smell of dampness and anew fills the noses of anyone lucky enough to be in the rain at this time. 

    And the silence, the perfect way the earth stands still in those few minutes of the clouds crying on the mortals that live below them. You have to appreciate the majesty above as he graces us with the water in teh cycle of life. IN a way, rain is a symbol for life. It is a cycle, but it is never ending. It falls, it is picke dup, it grows, and falls. Its beutiful, so sweet and soft. Rain is the nurishment of life. 

    I learned when i was a little girl from one of my teachers, that rain is the most healthy thing you can give your body. I don't know if it's bullshit, but that's what the fake tanned, bleached blondie told me. And at the time i belived her; she said "Rain, it is healthy, yes. I tis the nutriants, and the fact that it has the earth's years in it that softens your hair. IN Puerto Rico, when i was a little girl, we danced and bathed in the rain. It was a blessing for a child to be baptised everyday by God's grace from his heavens. He  was allowing the spray to moisten the earth, and shine on us. Then he would make the sun come out, and cry us off, oh how i remeber gigling at the smell of fresh rain." I thought she was crazy, but here i am, home alone with nothing but the rain, and lightening sourrounding me. 

     I just want to forgive myself for very thing i have held against myself. Fucking up those times, and hatting myself, staying up weeping over things that i did years ago, unforgiving acts to other peiple. Thoughts that i buried deep, because i would be a freak outside my mind in any other form. The reaso i hate people, it has to be fact i am so fucked up that i don't want to give them a chacne to see that. So i limit my choices, i limit my life.

   Goodbye to my old self. I want to improve, the rain, the hope, the anewed life. Goodbyes are second chances. And God knows i need one.