𝐓𝐇𝐄𝐈𝐑 𝐋𝐈𝐁𝐄𝐑𝐀𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍 ➳ 𝐂𝐚𝐫𝐥 𝐆𝐫𝐢𝐦𝐞𝐬

Chapter 26 ~ My Decision

A week and a half. That's how long we'd been here at the Hilltop. But still, I couldn't function without him here. It was like a part of me had been ripped away, leaving me hopeless... There were photos of us together scattered across my bed in the room I shared with Daryl - ones of Carl and I together...back when we were happy. Tears brimmed in my eyes at his smiling face, bright blue eye before I slapped it back down on the bedspread.

I'd been doing nothing but reminiscing since he'd passed...and I didn't want to do that any longer. Gosh, I didn't want to be sad any longer. Angrily, I brushed at the tears on my face, wiping them away. But I missed him... I still missed him... In the middle of the night, I could still feel him by my side. I'd waked up screaming for him a thousand times only to have Daryl come calm me down.

It was nothing but memories plaguing me. All the words I'd never said tasted like regret on my lips. There was so many things I'd wish we'd had the time for before... A frustrated sigh escaped my lips as I got up from the bed, retrieving the knife that Daryl kept under his pillow before sliding into it the side of my boot and grabbing my backpack. Daryl was gone now, looking after Winnie at the daycare set up at Hilltop for me since I'd stopped caring about anything lately... Even her... 

But I'd made my decision - I knew what I wanted and what had to be done to achieve it. I couldn't just...I couldn't stay here any longer. Not with the image of Carl in my mind...dying...haunting my every waking thought. I had to get away from it all. Stalking through the kitchen, I pushed the door open quietly, being careful so as not to make a sound. And slowly, I managed to slip away from the Hilltop unnoticed. But not without one final backward glance at the trailer I shared with Daryl. Hot tears filled my dark eyes. I'm sorry, dad...I'm so sorry.

It was about a half-hour trek to town from here on foot. But finally, I'd managed to make it. I glanced down at my now very faded, very stained Def Leppard t-shirt. It had been a long time since I'd been out on my own like this. But I knew I'd be fine. It was just a little longer now.

I scanned the line of abandoned stores as I walked on the road then, grass poking up out of cracks in the pavement until finally, my gaze landed on what I was looking for: the pharmacy. Daryl and Denise had been here a while back to retrieve medical supplies when Dwight had...well, when she passed. They had gotten most of what was there but hopefully, there was a little still left. After all, they had only taken what was needed as well as what they could carry. Carefully, I entered the store, sliding the knife out of my boot as I stepped into the darkness. There was a counter to the left, bottles of various medicines on the shelf behind it as well as on several displays around the room.

But what I was searching for was the hard stuff. Walking down one of the aisles, my eyes scanned the nearly barren shelves beside me as my hand brushed through the layer of dust, staining my fingertips gray. As I reached the end of the aisle, I kicked the shelf with my boot and let out a loud scream of agitation, my chest heaving up and down. It wasn't here, it wasn't here! I squeezed my eyes shut, feeling as if the thoughts inside my mind would tear me in two. Sucking in a deep breath, my dark brown eyes flew back open only to land upon a cabinet in back - filled with large bottles of medicine.

A sigh of relief left my lips as I ran over to it, yanking on the door so hard that the lock on it broke off. The door swung free, hitting the wall behind it with a loud bang that resounded through the room. But none of that mattered. All that mattered was the meds in front of me. Hurriedly, I took what was left inside - filling my backpack up with several bottles. The bag bulged at the sides when I'd finally finished.

In all reality, it was probably too much. But I didn't want any of it to be out-of-date and not work. I needed it to work. Suddenly, I heard a groan behind me and whipped around to come face-to-face with a walker. It wasn't near as unsightly as some I'd seen but it was bad enough - part of its rib-cage had already been smashed in and bright red intestines hung out like garland on a Christmas tree. Grimacing from having to deal with it, I ran up to it before stabbing my knife deep into its skull.

Rotten brain matter leaked out on my fingers as I did, the liquid slimy from being inside the corpse for so long. Wrinkling my nose in disgust, I wiped my hand off on my jeans before removing my blade and doing the same with it. A sigh escaped my mouth as I stood up, towering over the corpse briefly before walking out the door. Rays of sunlight beat down on me as I made my way down the road once more. Back to Hilltop I go.