𝐓𝐇𝐄𝐈𝐑 𝐋𝐈𝐁𝐄𝐑𝐀𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍 ➳ 𝐂𝐚𝐫𝐥 𝐆𝐫𝐢𝐦𝐞𝐬

Chapter 27 ~ The Tears of an Angel

I sighed as I stood in front of the bathroom mirror. My hair was a mess, there were bags under my eyes from not sleeping, I'd become pale from not eating, and worst of all...I didn't look anything like the girl I used to be. Not from before all of this... I barely recognized me anymore. I bit my lip, letting my eyes fall shut. I didn't have to do this.

I could turn back now and pick myself up - start over. But the thought - the choice itself - was irrelevant. I couldn't do that and I knew it, too. It wasn't meant to be...not without him. Slowly, I opened my eyes, staring once more at my reflection before glancing down at the pill bottle on the sink in front of me. Gingerly, I picked it up and rolled the bottle around in my hands, eyes flitting across the worn label.

It was just medicine...just medicine, I kept telling myself over and over. This would make it all better, make it all go away. But I could hear his words in my head...ones unsaid but ones I knew in my heart, just knew he would say...

"You could still be what you want to, what you said you were when I met you..."

I had a life before him...dreams, aspirations. But somehow, they had all flowed into our life together. And now even that was disintegrating before my eyes...soon there would be nothing left at all. Nothing... Hot tears escaped my eyes as I unscrewed the cap, memories of him coming back now in flashes.

He came to stand behind me then, his hands circling around my frame. I could feel his warm breath on the back of my neck as he guided my hands to grasp the shovel tightly.

A sob escaped my mouth, unbidden as my hand holding the bottle began to shake.

Carl cocked his head to the side, smirking. The familiar Sheriff's hat perched atop his head slid slightly as he did. His blue eye sparkled mischievously as he watched me.

"You'd still be beautiful even if you did gain weight." he said, a playful tone in his voice.

A scarlet blush threatened to tint my cheeks so I immediately looked away from him.

The tears streamed down my face in waves as my vision blurred, the sound of the pills emptying out into my hand.

A strand of his shaggy hair had fallen over his eye though and without thinking, I reached up and brushed it back from his face. Realizing what I just did, I blushed scarlet and removed my hand. Sitting up, I mumbled an apology and he just chuckled.

My palm filled up with the tiny white pills as the tears continued to fall, almost choking me up.

"I love you," I choked out, unable to hold back the hiccuping sob that followed in succession to my confession.

His blue eye widened slightly and I almost thought I'd made a mistake. But slowly, he grinned down at me, caressing my face tenderly before replying.

"I love you, too, Angel...so much."

I love you - those words kept resounding in my head as I stared down at the medicine in my hand. It was now or never. My stomach twisted in knots but then...then I thought of his face - that blue eye, his smile, his laugh... I couldn't live without him. I couldn't. He was a part of me. And if he wasn't here? ...Then this world wasn't meant for me...

A sob erupted from my throat as I shoved the handful of pills into my mouth, eyes flicking to gaze at my reflection. This wasn't the way it was supposed to go...this wasn't supposed to happen! We were supposed to grow old together...he was supposed to be my happily ever after...he still was...

Gripping the counter-top so hard my knuckles turned white, I swallowed down the bitter pills on my tongue. My gaze dropped then to the empty bottle as my hand went to my stomach and another sob ripped from my throat - raw and full of emotion.

"I'm so sorry...I'm so sorry, little one..." I sobbed, feeling as if I couldn't breathe.

My hair framed my face slightly so he pushed it behind my ear like he used to do as I gazed down at him...for the very last time.

"I love you, too, Carl Grimes. I always will..." I choked out, my chest heaving once, twice before I calmed my breathing.

My vision suddenly started to become blurred and I felt my legs get wobbly. I tried to grip the counter but I no longer had the strength and I fell to the floor like a stone. But I felt no pain as I landed hard on my back, my dark brown hair splayed out around me on the tile.

"We'll all be together again, soon...we'll all be...together..."

My vision began to fade then - shapes around me becoming blurrier and blurrier as my consciousness began to slip away from me. Just before I blacked out completely, I could hear the splintering of wood and Daryl shouting above me. Vaguely, I remembered the feel of being held in his arms, warm tears falling on my skin...before it all went dark...