The Street Child (Min Yoongi)

Chapter 21: Affinity

My trembling, sweaty palms knotted into his course hair as my lips moved fiercely against his stoic ones. A familiar feeling came flooding back into my senses, and Joshua's smiling face circled around in my head.

I smiled into the kiss, as his sweet voice rang in my ears.

I love you, Yuna. Forever and always.

I mumbled incoherent words, earning a groan in return. Suddenly, my eyes snapped open as it dawned on me whose lips mine were severely attached to. I stared at the crepuscular orbs looking back at me with the same astounded expression sketched on my face.

Those eyes. They weren't a soft hazel like I expected them to be. They didn't hold the gentle expression like they always did. And then, I realized. It wasn't who I hoped it would be. It wasn't Joshua. The small chamber of my heart that had blazed up with a quandom arousement, diminished into a negligent flicker.

I flinched away from Yoongi, whose eyes were bulging out of his sunken sockets. My hand flew up to my mouth and furiously wiped it, trying to remove all traces of his lips on mine. My feet crawled backwards until I hit the side of my bed. Holding onto it, I shakily stood up on my unstable feet, averting my embarrassed gaze from his flustered ones.

Yoongi's quivering hands touched his moist lips in a hazy state, as though he was in a daze. I opened and closed my mouth, finding it extremely hard to form words to explain the situation.

"I-I'm so sorry. I wasn't thinking s-straight," came out my stuttering answer.

He licked his lips in response, and I didn't catch the tiny trace of a smile appearing on his lips for just a fraction of a second. He regarded my eyes with hesitation, and then my lips, and back and forth. I pressed my mouth into a thin line and mustered up the courage to meet his flickering orbs.

"That didn't happen."

Yoongi snapped his eyes towards mine and held the stare.

"What?"

"I said, that didn't happen," I repeated, louder this time.

He lightly clicked his tongue and shifted his eyes to the floor. I saw him vaguely nod, and immediately felt guilt licking my insides. I had no right to kiss him myself and then ask him to forget about it like it had never happened. My teeth gently clamped down on my lower lip and my gaze on him softened considerably.

Yoongi raised his head to look at me.

"I'm going out for a while. You know, to check out my place. See if someone's taken it up. I'll be back before night."

With that, he quickly scurried out of the room without sparing me a glance.

I slumped down on the bed, exhausted from all that was happening. I hated myself. I hated my life. Sometimes, I just wanted to end it. It couldn't be more dull than it already was. It felt like I had no purpose whatsoever. Why the fuck was I even born?

I guess I knew the answer. I was born to take an irreproachable life and wallow in my own self pity for the rest of my pointless life. All I had given to the people close to me was grief and misery. I wondered if my dying would even affect them at all.

My demoralizing thoughts were interrupted by the sound of my shrill doorbell. I turned my head towards the door just in time to see a petite figure trot inside the room is slow, shy strides. My eyes laid on a fiery head leading down to soft but fierce features, which were currently etched with anxiety.

"Minyoung."

My estranged friend placed her brown eyes on mine, shyly shifting from one foot to another.