Lena Grey (Remus Lupin love story)

Chapter 6

It doesn't take long for the marauders, minus Remus, to start bullying me harder. They don't do anything to Remus but restrain him while they torture me.
I'm being kicked for what seems like the millionth time while Remus is fighting against Peter. "Honestly Moony, just let it happen!" Sirius says with an eye roll. "No! That's my girlfriend!" Remus shouts.
Everyone freezes, including me. "What?" James asks. "That's my girlfriend and if you were really my friends you would accept that," Remus says quietly. After a moment, Sirius begins to laugh. "Oh Moony! You dating ugly, stupid Grey? At least tell me if you're just looking for an easy girl because Hogwarts has lots of those."
I can feel heat creeping into my face as I consider the possibility. Maybe Remus did just want a girl who was easy and saw me. "She has a good personality Sirius," Remus says. "And I'm the queen," James replies.
They go back to kicking and punching me, and I just let it happen like always. When they've had their fill, Potter returns to Remus. "Listen Moony, whenever you've had enough of this, we'll take you back and find you a better girl," he says.
After the leave, Remus comes over to me. "Are you alright Len?" He asks. "Never better," I reply as I stand up. "Do you want me to fix your bruises?" He asks. "No I'm fine," I reply. "Ready for potions?" He asks me with a small smile. "Potions," I reply.
A few weeks later, Remus and I are in the library in our usual spot. After setting down his book, Remus turns to face me. "We need to talk about something," he says. "I agree," I say in response. "You first, since you brought it up."
"Are you sure you don't want to go?" He asks. I nod, and Remus continues. "Lena, listen," he says. "We've known each other for a while now and I know we didn't start off on the greatest terms but I love you," he says. "I really do."
My throat goes dry. This was not according to plan. This was not according to plan! He's about to make this very difficult. "Remus, I love you too," I smile, taking his hand. His face lights up, and I look at our entwined hands.
"That's why I can't bear to see you without your friends. I can't bear to see you being whispered about in the corridor. Whatever you and I have going on has to stop right now before it gets out of hand," I say to him. I look up and see his face crumbling.
"I don't care about any of that," he whispers. "You say you don't Remus, but you do!" I exclaim. "I know you do. So go back to your friends and forget this happened. I can handle some bullying Remus. I've been doing it for years." Without another word, I get up, leave the library, find an empty classroom, and cry until the tears refuse to come and I'm choking on my own sobs.
The next week is probably the best I've had at Hogwarts. By no means is it good, but Remus is with his friends and that's what matters to me.
Soon however, I get lonely. Not lonely, it just feels like I've lost something. Before of course, I never had anything to lose. It's not long before I begin to take up a normal cutting pattern. Usually after breakfast and after dinner.
I begin to laugh as I cut my arms. The release from everything feels so good that I can't help it. Myrtle sits beside me most nights, watching the blood stream to the floor.
After one particularly bad day, I'm heading to the bathroom when I'm stopped by four boys. "Going to slice up your arms?" James asks. "What's it to you?" I ask. "Do you want some help?" Sirius asks. "Go away," I snarl, trying to push past them. Big mistake.
I'm dragged by my hair into an empty classroom and dropped onto the floor. "Don't you know it's rude to reject an offer so unkindly?" Sirius asks, kicking me and jerking up my sleeves. They spend time hitting me and pointing out everything they see wrong with me.
"Don't you agree Moony?" James asks after calling me a whore. "Yeah sure," Remus replies, not paying attention. "What is it? Thinking about Marlene?" Sirius asks. Remus nods.
After hearing that, I'm broken hearted and run to the library after they let me go. Stifling my sobs, I sit on the small couch and let the past six years out.
The next few weeks are torture. Remus and Marlene walk through the hallways holding hands and acting in love. He walks her to class and kisses her on the cheek before leaving. I knew he was probably just trying to use me, but I feel broken all the same.
Things don't get better when I go home for the Christmas holidays. When I get off of the train, I see Valarie already waiting with my parents. "It took you long enough you cumbersome child!" My mother shrieks before appearing me home.
I clean and cook the entire holiday. As usual, I get no presents while my sister gets no less than thirty. When we go back to the station, my mother pulls me aside. "Did you finish the laundry?" She asks. "No I didn't have time," I reply.
She replies with slapping me across the face. "I wish I never had you, you stupid thing!" She yells, making Valarie laugh. "Yes ma'am I agree," I reply before leaving to get on the train.
Tonight is the night, I decide. I'm not going to deal with anything from anyone anymore. They can do what they please and I won't care. I know what I've done wrong and I'm going to fix it.
Instead of frowning when the marauders step into my compartment, I smile. "Nice break?" I ask. Looking confused, James replies. "Yeah, better than yours. I saw that whole thing. Your mum wishes she never had you and so do we," he laughs.
I laugh with them. "Chocolate frog?" I ask, holding one out. James rolls his eyes and punches me to the floor, and Sirius begins to kick me. I don't feel it though. By tomorrow they won't hate me anymore.
After changing into my robes, I sit down and write a letter.
Dear Remus,
Thank you for being the only person that ever cared about me. It meant a lot, even if you were only pretending. You and Marlene look very happy together and I'm glad you have someone to make you smile. If you'll meet me in Myrtle's bathroom tonight I'll explain everything.
Love,
Lena Grey.
I seal the letter and send it to Remus using a simple charm. Part one of my plan is complete.
When we get to school, I skip dinner and immediately go to Myrtle's bathroom, humming as I go. "Hello Myrtle," I greet her. "Hello," she replies sadly as I take my blades from their hiding spot and carry them to the sinks, where I sit down.
"What are you doing?" Myrtle asks. "I'm fixing things," I reply, shoving all my razors into a box. I smile sadly as I see my favorite. "I'm starting by throwing away the trash," I exclaim with a smile.
For the first time, Myrtle smiles at me. "That's good. I told you it wasn't worth it," Myrtle replies, sitting next to me. "You were right," I reply. "It wasn't worth it."
Myrtle's smile vanishes and it's replaces with her signature frown. "So how are you fixing things?" She asks. "I told you, I'm throwing away the trash," I reply, taking my blade and slashing my arms vertically.
I hear Myrtle scream, but I feel the familiar sting and smile, laying down on the floor. It isn't along before my vision begins to go fuzzy. It's funny, I can almost see Remus standing above me, shouting my name.
I feel warmth overtake me as I succumb to the void that's been wanting me all these years.