Where have you been?

Chapter Eighteen

Ronnie had been gone for a couple weeks, it wasn't anythijng long term, just some festivals here and there. But that didn't stop me from missing him like crazy. We talked every chance we got, in between his sets and my dance classes.

A couple days before he was scheduled to come home, I was incredibly busy with work that I hadn't had anytime to text him or call him. By the time I did get to my phone, I had a whole bunch of missed calls and text messages from him that I smiled to myself, loving the thought that he was thinking of me.

I opened the last text message and saw a picture of him. He was sitting in the airplane seat, looking sad with a caption written over it. "Pay attention to me" I couldn't help but laugh.

I immediately text him back telling him I was sorry, but work had been extremely busy and that I would call him as soon as I made it home.

He relied with: "hurry the hell up." I shook my head, laughing again. I threw my phone in my bag and headed home.

The first thing I noticed when I pulled up to the house was the garage door was open and so was the front door. Ronnie wasn't suppose to be home for a couple more days, he was suppose to be headed to another show. I parked my car and walked closer to the house, not sure if I should go in or not. I shook my head and turned around, deciding to get back in the car and call Ronnie first, when I heard the door open.

"You going to come say hi or are you going to leave?" I turned slowly around and smiled as soon as my eyes meant his. I stood there, frozen, just looking at him.

"What are you even doing here? It was suppose to be a couple more days before you came home." He nodded and motioned to me with his fingers to come closer.

I walked to stand in front of him as his big, tattooed hands cupped my face gently. "The last one was canceled. We had the option of staying or going home for a few days till the next one. I missed you and decided to come see you. I've only got three days before I have to leave again."

I leaned up and kissed him, my arms wrapping around his back as he pulled me closer. "I missed you too." He smiled and kissed me again before taking my hand and leading me into the house.
"I know your birthday is right around the corner." I looked at him and nodded.

"You seem to remember more everyday." He nodded.

"Especially when it comes to you." I laughed and let him lift me onto the counter. "I want to know what you want. Do you want a new house or car? Do you want jewelry? You tell me, beautiful." I reached for him and he settled himself between my legs, getting as close to me as possible.

"I don't want any of those things. But there is something I want desperately, but I don't think you'll want to give it to me." His hands ran up and down my back and he smiled.

"Name it and it's yours. I'll always give you everything you want." I nodded and took a deep breath.

"I want a baby." I saw his smile fade and he tried to step back, but I wouldn't let him.

"Cassie, sweetheart-" I cut him off before he coiuld say anything else.

"I've already talked to the doctor. He thinks there is a real possibility of me carrying a baby this time. They didn't know what happened the first time but they do now. I might have to be on bed rest for a portion of the pregnancy but that would be ok. I would do anything." He shook his head.

"I won't put you at risk. You almost died the last time, I can't go through that. Besides, you weren't going to risk it with Justin and I won't let you risk it with me."

"It wasn't the same with him. He wasn't you. When I think about you and I, I think about children and grandchildren, I never wanted that with him. With you, I do." His eyes softened and he kissed my forehead.

"We'll make an appointment with the doctor so I can talk to him. No promises though. I would rather a lifetime with you without babies, then just a couple years."

"I knew that's what you'd want. I already have an appointment for this afternoon to get some blood work done. You can just go with me." He squinted his eyes at me before nodding his head.

"How do you do that? It's like you knew I was going to be here and would want to talk to your doctor and you already have an appointment." He kissed me gently before pulling me closer.

"Coincidence." He shook his head as his hands made their way under my shirt.

"I don't think so." I didn't have a chance to reply before his lips were on mine again and he was lifting me into his arms, and carrying me to our bedroom.

* * * * * * * * * * * *

"If Cassie follows the plan that we've set up for her, I'm positive that she'll be fine." We were sitting in Dr. McCoy's office, Ronnie listening intently to everything the doctor was saying.

"What about the baby? I'm not putting her through all of this if we're going to lose another one. I can't let her go through that again." I reached for his hand and interlaced our fingers together as I smiled at him.

"There is no guarantee. I can't tell either of you that Cassie won't have another miscarriage. But, we know more of what Cassie needs and what her body can and can't handle. All you can do is try."

(Ronnie's POV)

She looked at me, her eyes pleading with me to say yes. She was killing me. She was asking me to take a chance with her life and I didn't know if I was strong enough to do it.

"It's not something you have to decide right now." I looked back at the doctor and nodded. "Go home and talk about it. Like I said, I'm confident Cassie will be just fine." We got up and thanked him before heading to the car.

"Ronnie." She whispered softly as I started the car. I looked at her and smiled. "What do you think?" I could tell she was scared of my answer and I shook my head.

"Let's talk about it at home." She closed her eyes and nodded as a tear slid down her cheek. She wiped it away before looking out the window.

I didn't know what to do. On one hand, I wanted to give her everything she could possibly want. On the other, it scared me to death to think about losing her or another baby. I knew she wanted this more than anything just by seeing her eyes light up when she talked about having my baby.

I pulled into the driveway and she was out of the car before I had it in park. I quickly caught up to her as she walked into the house, but before she could walk up the stairs, I gently gripped her arm and turned her to face me.

"Baby. Why are you crying?" I wiped the tears from her cheeks as she looked at me.

"I know you're going to say no, Ronnie. While I get why you would say that, you have to understand that this is all I've wanted since we decided to be together. Maybe it's because it's you or because of the one we lost. I... I've never wanted anything more." She leaned her head against my chest and tried to calm down, taking deep breaths as I rubbed her arms.

I didn't know how I was suppose to tell her no, when I wanted the same thing she did. I wanted a family with her, I always have. There's never been anyone else that I wanted that with, except her. I lifted her head and looked into her eyes. "Cassie." I took a deep breath before kissing her lips softly. "I want everything you do. If you promise to do everything the doctor tells you, I'll give you a baby."

She looked at me like I've never seen her look at me before, as a huge smile broke out across her face. I would do anything to see her smile like that, and that's what gets me into trouble. She threw her arms around my neck and kissed me hard.

"I'll do everything. I promise. I want this too much not to." She kissed me again before getting her phone and calling the doctor.

I watched her smile as she talked to him, saw the radiant way she looked at me and I knew I made the right choice. I knew she'd do whatever she needed to do to have this baby. She hung up the phone and ran to me, laughing, she was so happy.

"Ok, let's go make a baby." I smiled at her as I let her lead me up the stairs and into our room. It was sure going to be fun trying.