The Great Galactic Service Station

Part 9 - That's the wrong M25!

"Why have you brought us out here?" Ralph cried, pushing his finger through his hair and gripping it in frustration? "We have to go about two hundred miles and you've brought us probably two hundred light years!"

"How did you know that?" Harry asked surprised. "Maybe you're better at space travel than we thought!"

"Oh please!" Ralph shouted to the roof of the control centre.

"Well you will name your places after galaxies, anyone could get confused. I'm beginning to realise why it is that the Great Galactic Service Station has been so hard to find!" Harry was sounding obviously flippant.

"Alright human – calm down!" Miranda cut in, sensing that the two were likely to start fighting at any moment. "Harry can you take us back please. You can show him where to go on one of your silly route map things. The A to Z isn't it?"

"Oh for heaven's sake!" Ralph cursed. "For intelligent people you aren't exactly... intelligent."

Miranda and Harry said nothing, Harry changed course taking them back towards Earth, Ralph felt bad as he watched the stars shooting by. He had been rude, but then he comforted himself with the fact that he had been pretty much abused since he had been taken from Earth. Only Ralph, Miranda and Harry were in the control centre. Ralph was looking glum, it seemed that his one home in the universe, the home of the human race could be blown to pieces. He felt and hand on his shoulder but he continues to be glum and didn't look up.

Miranda sat beside him, for once she seemed to be empathetic to Ralph. "It can't be easy can it human?"

"My name is Ralph" Ralph replied, still not looking at her. "What can't be easy?"

"Knowing that your world could be obliterated to dust and not being there."

Ralph turned and looked at her. "I don't want it obliterated to dust and being there won't help!" Ralph was fairly indignant in his reply and added "I've not fed my cat since I've been here. She;s likely to have run away or been run down by a yobbo in a car with loud exhaust and those stupid wheels that stick out the side."

"I have no idea what you're talking about Ralph, but it sounds bad." There was kindness in Miranda's voice.

Ralph felt finally as if he was slightly understood. "Then she will be obliterated to dust with the rest of the planet before I can bury her in her favorite spot where she would sit in the sun."

"I think the cat will be fine." Miranda reassured him "So will your planet if you're right and you can help us find the Great Galactic Service Station." Miranda actually smiled at this point, not a big smile but a kindly smile.

Ralph smiled back, then suddenly was thrown forward into the far wall as the spaceship came to sharp halt. Both Ralph and Miranda ended up in a twisted help.

"Is that my foot in my mouth or yours?" Ralph mumbled.

"I'm not sure!" Miranda screeched "I'm too busy wondering if I have your finger up my nose! What's going on Harry?"

"Well it looks like we've stopped." Harry replied matter of factly.

"Thank you for that!" Miranda shrieked "I know this, what would be more useful is if you could tell me why and what else is going on!" Miranda and Ralph were just crawling up as Ralph stood he wiped a finger on his trousers.

"Well it seems that Bak'rah have decided to turn up too and they have decided to do their trick of throwing up an energy cordon around the Earth."

"Great! Just great!" Miranda huffed. "What else can go wrong?"

"Don't ask that!" Ralph cringed.

Harry turned to Miranda "You're forgetting we have the one thing that the Bak'Rah will be likely to let us in for!"

Miranda's eyes widened at the thought that entered her mind. This thought permeated through her head, into her body and back into her head again. Not only was this idea the stuff of evil genius, it was the kind of thought that was more evilly cunning than... well a cunning thing.

"Boris!!" Both Harry and Miranda said in unison. The instantly marched off to the airlock where Gaz was guarding. Well, the term guarding was a rather loose term, he was happily playing some kind of three dimensional card game with Boris inside the airlock. It was also apparent they both liked Aldeberran Whiskey. Miranda pressed a button and opened the door pointing her zap-o-death at Boris.

"Oh please dear lady you don't have to point that thing somewhere else I won't harm you! In fact your little guard here has been very accommodating!"

"I like you Boris!" Gaz's voice grated "I think you're like me – misunderstood!"

"Great, it seems out little guard now has a soft spot for the leader of an evil conquering war race!" Miranda moaned, rolling her eyes. "Harry go and get Gaz sobered up before he ends up opening the other end of the airlock and blowing us into space!"

"I'm very grateful you haven't shot me into space you know. Here would you like a pork scratching?" Boris was clearly in a drunkenly cheerful mood.

"It's not us you should be concerned about – IRIS has a thing for shooting unwanted lifeforms into space. I want you and your guards out here, I need you off this ship. Don't try anything either, or dying in the vacuum of space will seem a pleasurable way to go!" Miranda motioned them out, Boris was helped by his guards as she couldn't really stand well by himself. Miranda chuckled to herself as she walked behind the staggering Boris. The two Tapian's opened the door to their room to see what the commotion was. Miranda caught eye of them and wide eyed with shock she motioned for them to get back in which they promptly did.

Ralph stood in the control centre and watched as a drunken Boris staggered in followed by Miranda . Harry walked in from the other side, whispering 'Boo' as he walked past then chuckling to himself.

"Harry can you see if you can raise the Bak'rah lead ship?"

"I think I can get a response from them!" He smirked.

"Ha!" snorted Boris, you won't be able to get anything out of them! They don't talk to anyone! They don't like anyone and only do what they want to do, when they want to do it!" Boris chuckled to himself.

"This is so true!" Miranda sighed with fake resignation. "But there are some they really, really hate! Like... Borians! So the leader of the Borians I think will be a nice little bargaining chip to get us back and get this mess sorted!" Miranda pointed her zap-o-death at the guards, making sure they knew resistance was futile.

"They have agreed to let us pass the cordon in exchange for Boris here! I've given them the coordinates and I have an access gate position."

"Great! Take us there Harry!"

"On my way! Just one thing though the Borian fleet is heading this way – all of them!"

"Great!" Miranda hissed.

"Don't worry, I've got an idea!" Harry exclaimed mysteriously.

"Now I'm worried...." Miranda locked her stare onto Harry with a 'Don't do something stupid' look.

Harry on the other hand had other ideas. Doing something stupid...