Phoebe
During my first period class, which was algebra, all I could think about was McKenna. But the more I thought about McKenna, the more I questioned my sexuality. I couldn't be lesbian or bisexual. My family would disown me. I shook the thought out of my head right when the bell rang, which meant it was second period. I got up from my chair that I was sitting on during my first period class and made my way out of the room. Next period I had Music. I'm not a musical person, so I usually skipped it.
As I snuck my way out of the school, I saw McKenna sitting on a bench. She was reading the first Harry Potter book. I didn't know what to do, but I decided to walk over to her.
"Shouldn't you be in class?" I asked while chuckling nervously.
McKenna looked up from her book and gave me a smile. She closed up her book and put it next to her.
"I could say the same to you." McKenna said while getting up and making her way toward me.
"Well I'm not a very musical person, so I rather not go to music class." I said with a big smile. McKenna smiled right back and now she's standing across from me.
"I have a free period right now, so here I am." McKenna said while gesturing her hands in the air.
I wanted to hang out with her, so I just asked her. The worst that she could say is no.. Right?
"Wanna go for a walk?" I asked. McKenna smiled at the ground and put a piece of hair behind her ear.
"Sure." She said with a smile. Once she grabbed her book and back pack from the bench, we were on our way.
-
McKenna and I were hanging out at Ashuelot River Park in our city. We were swinging on the swing set while we got to know each other better.
"When I was five I called my dad an asshole because he told me to clean my room." McKenna shrugged.
I started laughing really hard. "What did he do when you said that to him?"
McKenna shrugged. "I don't really remember clearly, but all I know now is that my dad isn't really in my life anymore."
Guilt grew within me. "I'm so sor-" But before I could finish my apology, McKenna caught me off.
"Don't say sorry. I hate it when people pity me." McKenna groaned. After that, McKenna got off the swing and waited for me to get off with her hands on her hips. I hopped off and I followed her to the open field. Since it was fairly warm out and the grass wasn't wet, McKenna sat down on the grass. I did as well.
Eventually we ended up laying down, looking up at the sky. We honestly didn't seem to care about missing the rest of the day of school. I knew that I'd get yelled at by my dad if he found out I skipped but McKenna was worth getting in trouble for.. What am I saying?
After a few moments of silence, McKenna finally spoke.
"Have you ever wished your life could be like a fairytale book?" McKenna asked. After she asked me that, she sat up. I followed her action.
I looked deeply into her eyes, that I almost forgot what she asked me. "Sometimes." I said with a small smile.
McKenna looked down at her legs while blushing. "When I was younger I always wished that I could be Princess Arielle, but I always ended up feeling like Cinderella. The worst part about feeling like Cinderella is that, in my verison, I never had some guy try and find me with my glass shoe in the palm of his hand. It never really bothered me though because I never really wanted to fall in love with a prince. I've always wanted a princess." McKenna let out a small chuckle after saying that.
I chuckled while nodding my head. "I understand."
After a few minutes of deeply staring into each others eyes, McKenna started looking down at my lips and back up to my eyes, her face was getting slowly closer by the second. My stomach errupted. I didn't know if it was a good feeling or bad feeling. But before McKenna could get any closer, I snapped.
"I'm not gay." I snapped while getting up from where we were sitting. I slowly started backing away from the area. When I said I wasn't gay, I saw McKenna's smile turn into a frown.
I started walking faster. I wanted to leave as fast as I could. I was so ashamed
"I'm not gay. I'm not gay. I'm not gay!" I mumbled to myself while I walked. I doubt she could hear me.
As soon as I saw a bench, I sat down on it. My elbows were on my knees while my face was buried into the palm of my hands.
"I'm fucking gay." And as soon as those words left my mouth, I started balling my eyes out.
