It's Like, Really Gay

10. A Date? For Three?

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4:51 p.m.
On a Saturday
Mac's Apartment
Mac' POV

I invited Charlie to come over to do all of the cleaning in exchange for some cheese. He was jumping around the apartment trying to make the place look, smell, and even "taste" perfect. I know, what the fuck? I don't understand either.
I came from the spare room wearing dark dress pants and a grey polo. Charlie convinced me to wear a tie. It was my favorite. It had skulls on it. I smiled while doing my hair. Meanwhile, Charlie was also getting ready. Once we were done we sat there waiting. I was looking all suitys!
"How do I look?" Charlie asked.
"W-T-F!" I exclaimed. "You look stunning as shit."
"What does that stand for again?"
"What the fuck."
"Oh shit, you mean it doesn't stand for 'wear those fanny packs?'"
"N-no..."
"That explains why Dee was mad at me earlier."

Before I could ask what he was talking about, someone knocked on the door. It was Rickety Cricket.
"Hi." I said smiling. Rickety gave me a kiss on the cheek. Charlie peaked behind me to see what was going on. He recognized Rickety at the door.
"Oh shit, wasn't this the dude who you gave a blow—"
"Yes." I interrupted him. "It's all good."
Rickety Cricket and I sat across from each other on a cheap, dirty plastic fold-up table. We talked while Charlie was pretending to cook the store-bought chicken. He wanted the dinner to be "authentic." I have no clue what he meant but I just allowed him to do his shit anyway. In the middle of our conversation, I heard a knock on the door. Who could that be? I answered the door, it was Dennis.
"Oh, hey dick face." Dennis greeted. "I just came to drop off Charlie's phone." Rickety Cricket and Dennis glared at each other.
"Care to join us?" Rickety asked Dennis. "If you don't mind our make-out sessions, that is." Dennis nodded with a suspicious grin. Oh boy, this isn't going to be good.

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5:15 p.m.
Dennis' POV

Seeing Mac and Rickety Cricket together made me mad. Once Mac left the room, I asked Rickety if we could have a chat. Mac blew a kiss to Rickety and pretended to catch it. Jesus Christ.
"How are you liking my ex-brother?" I said in anger.
"Very much."
"Why did you invite me on your date?" I asked.
"To make sure you know... Mac is mine." He told me as he shoved me against the wall. I starting choking him.
"Fucking serious?" I hissed.
"He has a great ass." said Rickety. I nodded. I can't argue with that.
"But still... stay away from him."
"Make me." He stuck his tongue at me and winked. Ew.

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5:25 p.m.
Mac' POV

I didn't mean to take as long as I did. Charlie placed our pee bucket outside so my place would look more "classy". I ran up the stairs and opened the door.
"Heyooo— HOLY SHIT!" I yelled. Rickety Cricket and Dennis and were fighting. Rickety continuing to punch Dennis while he joked Rickety.
"WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON?" I yelled. I put my hands on my head in disbelief.
"Uh..."
"Hi." They separated and turned away from each other.
I walked in the corner of the room and covered my face in embarrassment. Are you fucking serious? Why are they even fighting over me! Dennis dumped me and told me vaginas are better than dicks! And where was Charlie? He should have prevented this!
"Where did Charlie go?" I asked the two.
"I think he said he was going out to get some herbs." Dennis replied. Speak of the devil, Charlie came back with his hands full of grass.
"I got some uh... baby leaves? Bird leaves? Anyway, I think this will make the chicken taste great."
"GODDAMNIT CHARLIE WHY WEREN'T YOU HERE?" I yelled. "THEY GOT IN A FIGHT!"
"I HAD TO GO AND GET SOME BAY LEAVES FOR THE CHICKEN, OKAY MAC!" Charlie explained flailing his arms up.
"THOSE AREN'T EVEN LEAVES THAT'S JUST GRASS CHARLIE!"
"D-don't question the chef, Mac. Art takes patience to master." Charlie said. He sprinkled the grass on the roasted chicken. I sighed.
"Whatever, lets just eat."

We all at down and ate in silence. It was the most awkward dinner I've ever had. A couple minutes passed, and I heard the door being opened. It was Frank. We all stared at him for a moment.
"No, no, no!" Frank yelled. "Not with Charlie and a homeless dude! Damn it Mac I knew being gay would change you!"
"Frank we're just—" I began to explain. Before I could finish Frank interrupted me by flaring his hairy nostrils.
"Is that chicken?"
"... Yes." Charlie answered.
"I'm taking some of that." He grabbed a leg and bit off some of the meat. "Wow what's this green stuff? Very delicious."
"Oh those are some bird leaves." Charlie replied. Dennis and I groaned and rolled our eyes.
"Nice. Well I'm going back and banging some whores. Don't get into an orgy while I'm gone, Mac."
"Okay Frank."

Once he left the room, the feeling of dread washed over me as the silence resumed.