Discovering Neverland

19 - GBF

You were nine when you're mom died
She was your best friend and your guide
You cried because of guilt and pain
tears on that day
fell like rain
Drop out twice in fourth grade
for you
it was a good choice you've made
You realized it's all wrong
back to school
you went on
First year on your highschool as a
junior
You liked this girl with
the beautiful smile and hair
Unfortunately, you've got busted
like a mole caught on a snare
College came and on your
third year
illness did hug you
this illness struck you like
a bolt of lighting stopping the world to spin
around you
You've got rid of it but
after a year
preparing for your graduation
It struck you again
Oh, how ironic was that
you didn't get your diploma
standing on the stage with your
father on your side
That day never happened
A dream just like back from highschool
Silly you, you didn't felt that
light feeling as you accepted the sign of
finishing your course
Who would you blame?
Of course, it's on yourself
Who else it could be.
The same scenery with the illness
eating you
kept on repeating
It was then you discovered something
to your silly self
Something that the world hated
with that you're a dirt
You're trying to accept the whole of it
but you're also trying to forget
You often asked God
if He does really exist
why would He hate you?
giving those sorrow
thinking it's because you're different
from normal
Gay, am I right?
Who knows? You can't ask God that.
But aside from that you
wanted to believe
asking for a sign
It never happened now
Maybe it's because
you're really a sinner
a sinner
sinner
sin
you always kept on repeating
sin
You're a sin
and you're waiting
for your life to end
Afraid of oblivion