Found ;; Rye Beaumont

letter 2

dear faith,

so my last letter, you were 11. and now you're 16.. well then. 5 years later and i said i was gonna write one letter every 2/3 years.. well i suck already don't i.

i'm gonna be honest, this is hard.. writing down things like this.. i never know what to say and it really upsets me that the only reason i'm writing these is for in case i die anytime soon.. and i don't want to think about death. you know how i've always felt about that subject.. my worst fear for some reason.. yet here i am in the fucking army? what was i thinking..

okay okay that sounded really insensitive considering you're reading this when i'm up there with zi angels or whatever, i don't know what's coming.

crap i'm so bad at this..

but faith.. you're an auntie now and i'm a dad.. how scary is that.. little Mia will be 3 years old right now..

god i love her. and i love you too obviously. i miss you both. you are my world, my lil sister and my baby girl.

there will be a separate letter for Mia, don't worry.. i could never do that to you. you know.. leave you to have to tell her by yourself..

but there's one thing you need to know faith. when i die.. well i am now if you're reading this.. then Mia won't have a parent.

i want you to take care of her Faith. i want you to be the one to raise her. faith.. i made you Mia's god mother.. that means, if anything happened to me.. which well it did since you're reading- god i need to stop.

it means that you'll have full custody over Mia. you're her guardian now.. and i know you're going to be an amazing parent to her.

thank you.. for visiting her everyday at the hospital, looking out for her and being that mother figure in her life that she never had. thank you for telling her stories about me and keeping me in her memory.

i was scared that she was gonna forget about me instantly since i'm away working.. but thanks to you, whenever i get the chance to visit she'll remember me.

i love you both endlessly and you both are the 2 most strongest people i know. you are my girls, my world and i'm doing this for you both.

i miss you so much.. and i hope it doesn't hurt to much missing me.. well- if you do at all, but you probably will since i'm the best big brother out there according to your 11 year old self. that made me smile so god damn much you know? hearing those words.. "max you're the bestest big brother in the whole world and i love you so much"

i never forgot them. they play in my head pretty much every day..

it made me feel as if i had succeeded.. for once in my life i has done something right. you, lil sis, are the 'bestest' little sister in the whole world and i love you so much.

and yes shut up i know you're gonna correct 'bestest' to 'the best' in your head but HEY YOU SAID IT FIRST AND I WAS QUOTING YOU SO HA!

but anyways.. i love you. and you better stay strong for me.. and stop hurting yourself please..

that's right i noticed. it was hard not to. i could just tell.. faith please stay strong for me.. and promise me.. you'll find happiness.

actually no let me rephrase that.

i promise you, you'll find happiness. you'll find someone who will turn your life around for the better. they will love you, treat you like a princess and keep you safe, happy and take care of you. faith one day, you'll realise that the world isn't as bad as you think it is. love will change that for you.

you'll find someone.. you'll find your soulmate.. remember what i left for you? the note i left under your pillow before i went back to work..?

"God doesn't give you the people you want, he gives you the people you need. to help you, to hurt you, to leave you, to love you, to understand you, trust you, and to make you the person you were meant to be. we each bring something different into each others lives, we learn from eachother and support one another but build together. that person is your other half. the one you need. the one who completes you"

never forget those words faith- never.

- maxy :) x

A/N- IF YOU REMEMBER THOSE EXACT WORST FROM LOST THEN GOD DAMN I LOVE U AND IM SO EMO RN HELP ME