Xander

Fourth Letter (10)

Fourth letter to you.

I've been pathetically dwelling on the fact that although you've been back since Monday (and today is Friday) you haven't reached out to me since the first day. I tell myself it's for the best, that I should be happy to not having to deal with the risk of getting hurt again. But it's not the truth.

On Monday, I was keen on being angry with you, and if given the chance to chew you out before stepping away and forgetting we were ever best friends. But let's face it: that's not how I am.

I remember a time when I was younger, when my mom wasn't like she is now. One night, before bed, she was braiding my hair as I hummed a quiet tune. I could see her face in my vanity mirror, and she had this small smile on her lips from her thoughts.

'Mommy, why are you smiling?'

        She had looked at me through the mirror and muttered, 'I have a feeling that Xander boy will be in your life for a very long time.'

        'Why do you say that?'

'Maternal instinct.'

        I didn't understand what that meant, so I just let it go and it never crossed my mind again until now. That day had been the day she met you, and for some reason she predicted that you would become some huge aspect that was apart of my life. How utterly wrong she was. . .

"Abby! It's Kyle!" My mom- rather bluntly- calls from downstairs. I sigh and rub my eyes before slipping the letter into an envelope. I had already noticed that the letters I were using to vent about Xander were seriously lacking in length. Maybe that was a good thing.

        After I slip the envelope into the box where I kept the other three, then slide it under my bed, I grab my jacket and converse before going downstairs. My mother is staring Kyle down with hidden judgement, and Kyle has his eyebrows raised towards her in amusement when I enter the living room.

        "And where do you think you're going?" My mother asks sternly. I internally sigh and reply, "Out with Kyle."

        "Don't get smart with me." Is it just me, or is every freaking adult telling me that this week?

"We're going to the movies, then the mall afterwards. I'll be back in a few hours." She looks shocked by my casual reply, and I feel a pang in my chest as I remember how it used to be before everything that happened.

        My mother clears her throat and blinks, blocking whatever dazed look she previously had, and replies, "Okay. Well. . . be careful you two. Kyle." She says his name as a goodbye with lightly hidden disgust, then nods at me before walking out the room.

        "It seems that the more I see her, the more she hates me," Kyle mutters and then chuckles lowly.

I shrug on my jacket as I take note of that. I know she's not an idiot, and has noticed that Xander has been missing from my life this entire time. So maybe she's just wary of any guys that come around me. I scoff. Like she cares.

        "Hey," Kyle says softly and I look up to barely notice that he's made his way closer to me. He rests his hand on my shoulder and adds, "Are you okay?"

        I step back and cast my eyes downward. "Never been better," I mutter as I lean down to put on my shoes. "Go start the car, Kyle. I'll be out in a minute."

        "Abby-"

"Just go. Please," I snap as I gaze up at him with annoyance. He looks a little irritated himself, but just lets it slide and walks out the front door. I take in a deep breath before standing up and grabbing my bag and house keys.