Opening Up

The Dinner Dance

Jackie was clipping on a shimmering pair of diamond earrings when there was a soft knock at her door.

"Come in,"

"Jesus Jackie," Jack coughed as he opened the door. The gallons of hairspray she used still heavily lingered in the air. He cleared the clouds of it with a waving hand.

"Sorry," Jackie giggled.

Once Jack caught a glimpse of his wife in her silky strapless gown, he broke out into a wolffish grin.

"You look...rather desirable."

"Easy there, James Dean." Jackie teased adjusting his tux. She wrapped her hands around his neck and looked up at him. He kissed her just below her jawline.

"Everyone is waiting on you downstairs." Jack murmurs against her ear.

"Yeah?" Jackie breaths tightening her arms around him.

"Yes. We should go."

They slowly broke their embrace and Jackie groaned. She wanted to stay wrapped in his arms all night rather than attend this dinner dance. She had to mentally prepare herself for the fake smiles and giddy hand shaking she would have to gracefully execute.

..............................................

The night dragged on. An endless string of flashing  cameras, classical music, foreign diplomats, fine dining, and feigning excitement when greeting guests. She was leaning on a candlelit table and fidgeting with her diamond bracelet while a cabinet member's wife chewed her ear off about how husbands are so busy.

"Yeah, it's hard." Jackie agreed. It was taking all her strength to not look uninterested and keep the boring conversation alive.

"Speaking of husbands, I should go find mine if you'll excuse me." Jackie rose and attempted to weave her way through the crowded ballroom. She had to constantly stop in her tracks to have her hand kissed, photo taken or to politely greet a new person.

Finally, she saw Jack. She attempted to approach him but froze.

Jack was leaning forward with a hand on the wall. Against the wall was a some young blonde girl in a tight dress. He was clearly whispering something to her because she was giggling and touching his chest. He was gesturing with his head to another place they could go.

Jackie couldn't move. She couldn't look away. It felt like the whole room had stopped. It felt like everyone's hot eyes were on her saying, what are you gonna do, Jackie?

She looked down at her feet. She was just going to ignore it. That's what she always did. She suppressed it. She had too much dignity to get upset about it. She turned around and felt her eyes start to burn. She could hear people trying to get her attention but they felt like miles away.

How could I be so stupid?

One of Jack's aids approached her. "Jackie I'd like you to meet-"

"I...Uh...have to talk to secret service." Jackie pushed passed him in a flustered manner.

The room seemed to blur around her. Before she knew it, she was bounding up the back steps with tears in her eyes. She threw open her bedroom door and sat on her bed taking sharp breaths. She put her head in her hands and tried to calm herself.

How could he? How could I actually believe him?

She tore off her earrings and stood in the mirror. She gazed at her reflection for what felt like hours. By now, her makeup was smudged and her dress was wrinkled. She stared at her body, her hair, her face, her everything. She glared at her wide set eyes, her flat chest and her every imperfection.

I will never be enough for him.