Watching Her Love You

Chapter 1

Please Keep in mind that Carter Grant does not exist in this fic.

This chapter was inspired by the song "How Am I Supposed To Live Without You" By Michael Bolton.

XXX

I could hardly believe it

When I heard the news today

Lena took a deep breath to calm her buzzing nerves as she stepped into the (formerly private) CatCo elevator. She'd finally gotten the courage to do something she had wanted to do from the moment Kara Danvers came into her office alongside Clark Kent; ask her out on a date.

It'd been a long three years, and they'd gone through a lot of drama together. They had survived the whole 'Mon-El fling' after Cat Grant had left National City the first time. He was most obviously a rebound; Kara had been devastated after the break-up of her secret relationship with Cat Grant (One that she'd only gotten the knowledge about when Kara had gotten inebriated off a very potent alien beverage.) She'd admitted that the reason she was in her (incredibly toxic) relationship with 'Mike' was that she didn't want to be alone.

Lena had frowned upon that, she'd have been more than willing to be her (not toxic) rebound if Kara had given her the honor, but now that she looked back on it she could see that Mon-El had been, although torturous, a blessing in disguise. Because Kara had needed a rebound in order to start the healing process, and now because that rebound hadn't been Lena, she had an opportunity to have something real with Kara.

Healing after Cat Grant, for Kara, had been an agonizing and grueling process that she just now showed signs of being over. Lena had no idea what that narcissistic bitch was thinking when she let the most perfect person (Kara) in the world go, but her loss would hopefully be Lena's gain.

Not only did their friendship go through the entirety of the Mon-Smell fiasco, but they had dealt with Cadmus, Lillian, Morgan Edge, and the Reign/Sam disaster that Lena still blamed herself for. She'd tried so hard to help Sam, but nothing worked, she'd only succeeded in accidentally giving Reign full control over Sam. Because of Lena's inability to refrain from tampering and trying to help, Kara and the team of convicted Super Villains, along with Alex and her FBI team had to end up fighting Reign until the end... Leaving Ruby an orphan; alone, devastated, and lost... until Alex stepped up and offered to adopt her. Kara had been devastated that she couldn't save Sam and Lena could see in Kara's eyes that the Kryptonian was furious with Lena for keeping her experimentation on Sam a secret from her.

They stood side by side at the funeral as they both gave a tear-jerking eulogy; and had both testified on Alex's behalf at the adoption hearing for Ruby. They had and even hugged when it was confirmed that Alex was now the legal mother of the girl, but the hug was tense, and Kara's smile was never aimed at the CEO's direction.

Lena and Kara had a falling out for about three months after that... Lena understood, and she'd tried her hardest to respect Kara's wishes, but she couldn't. Every night she'd drink herself to sleep, hoping that that was finally the night she'd drink one too many and float away into oblivion. She tried to be better than her brother, she really did... but it had backfired, just like it always did.

After three months of radio silence between her and Kara, she finally conceded to her guilt and stood at the edge of the roof of L-Corp. The woman she loved hated her... She'd killed her best friend, and no matter how hard she tried, no one would ever think of her as anything but a deplorable disgrace like the rest of her family... So, with a murmured. "I'm so sorry, Kara." She let herself fall off of the building.