Watching Her Love You

Chapter 5

Lena felt Kara stiffen once their lips touched, and although that almost destroyed her right there, she kept going... She knew this might be the biggest mistake of her life, but she was desperate to portray just how much she loved Kara with that one kiss. Mainly if it was the only kiss, she'd ever get.

But then she felt logic take over her mind, and she realized exactly what she was doing as Kara finally yanked away from her and stared at her with a terrified expression on her face. Everything came crashing down around the CEO, and all she could feel were guilt, fear, and rejection. "Kara... I-,"

Kara shook her head, eyes wide. "Lena... Y-you had three years..."

Lena wasn't expecting that response; she was expecting Kara to be repulsed, and angry, not... this. "I'm so sorry, Kara. That's not at all how I had wanted to tell you. Please, can we just put this all behind us? Move forward as if this never happened?"

"No," Kara said firmly, shaking her head, "Because I can't just hide this from Cat. I'm dating her now, Lena. I have a girlfriend, and you... You kissed me. Now, what am I supposed to do?"

Lena swallowed. "Well, you could pretend it never happened after you tell Cat." She offered weakly, the little sprout of hope she had for this to turn out well completely depleted. "Or you could do what I deserve, and take yourself away from me... But I need to know, Kara... Why her? Why not me?" She decided to go for broke. It was time that Kara saw all of her options, she'd been too cowardly before, but now that she might lose Kara anyway, she'd play all of her cards and hope that she came out with the upper hand against Cat. "I've never left your side, I'd never dream of hurting you, I'm younger, and I've been your best friend for the past three years. I've loved you from the second you chose to believe in me. You're all that I can think about, Kara... I can't just be your best friend, I know that you feel something for me, so why not give us a chance? Why not let us grow into something amazing, unstoppable? I know that you have a Kryptonian element that can make humans as impenetrable as Kryptonians. I know that's how Lois hasn't aged in the past twelve years. She and Clark both look twenty-five when they're... what? At least forty... So, I know that this is possible for you and Cat, but it's also possible for you and I... Cat is old enough to be your mother, Ka-,"

"Are you even listening to yourself right now!?" Kara interrupted exasperatedly. "First, you attack me with a kiss unexpectedly, knowing that I justgot back with the woman I've been pining for, for years, and then you go in and act like being with her is wrong because you're the what... better choice?!"

Lena once again realized, that her desperateness made her seem heartless (and now vindictive) and tried her hardest to fix her mistakes. "No! Kara, please, that's not what I meant by it, I just..." She cuts off with a sigh, not sure what to say now that she'd messed things up so horrifically. "I love you, Kara... Seeing you with her, it kills me. I've wanted to tell you how I feel for so long, and just as I was about to, Cat had come back. I know that I went all about this wrong, but I know you feel something for me, so, please... Choose me, because being your best friend isn't enough for me, not anymore... I know I don't deserve you, I inadvertently killed Sam, made Ruby an orphan (sans your sister), my mother and I forced your ex-boyfriend off of the planet, and I didn't have as much faith in you as I should have, in the beginning. I'm extremely flawed, and insecure and I will be the neediest girlfriend that will require thousands of reassurances a day, but I will never hurt you the way that Cat did... So, please, Kara... choose me."

Kara gritted her teeth together. "Lena, I am with Cat, and I hate that me being with her hurts you, you're my best friend, and I love you dearly, but I can't give you what you need."