Instagram (Yoonmin)

Chapter 59

Okay that whole thing about last time I cried... Let's change that to yesterday 🙃

Yoongi sighed and leaned back on his computer chair, his head hanging uncomfortably over the backrest. How is it that the best moment of his life can quickly turn into his worst. He knew it was too good to be true.

He groaned, rubbing his eyes which were sore from staring at his bright computer screen in the dark for so long... and also because of the tears he couldn't stop shedding but he would never admit that to anybody if they asked him.

He also had a pounding headache, ever since Jimin's and his break up, Yoongi hadn't left his house and set to the important task of making himself as drunk as possible in hopes to forget. It didn't work.

He glanced at the small clock on the bottom right of his computer screen to see that it was ten o'clock. He stood up, gripping a hold of the desk for support while his head throbbed and the room span in front of him. God, he hated getting drunk. Once he managed to regain some of his balance he loosened his tight grip on the desk and stumbled out of his bedroom towards his small kitchen. No doubt Jin would still be asleep. It was his day off of work and no way was Yoongi going to disturb him on his day off.

He switched on the kettle and stood as tall as he could to grab a mug from the high kitchen cupboards to make himself some coffee. As he rested against the cold kitchen counter his headache started to ease a bit, and he could think more clearly. He still felt awful about what had happened between him and Jimin, but he's trying his best to convince himself that it was the right thing to do. Thinking back too all the arguments they have had, he realised how angry both of them could get, both saying some pretty hurtful things to each other. Still it was no excuse, arguments they could work through, but meeting up with the one person who caused it all was definitely something that would be hard to forgive.

The thing was, ever since that day first met each other in person, things were different from before. And when Jimin had kissed him for the first time, Yoongi had been in a state of complete and utter turmoil. As happy and escatic as he was that Jimin liked him too, something else had changed inside Yoongi that night. The feel of Jimin's lips on his, the nearness of his body, it was everything he had ever dreamed of and more, but how did it go wrong so quickly? The day when that Blinker person started commenting on everyone's posts, he wished he could have just ignored it. If he had just let it go maybe him and Jimin would still be together right now. As much as he wanted to blame it all on Blinker, truth was it was all three of them. Sure, things would have been better if Blinker never existed in their lives, but the way they both reacted to it was both on them. And now, well, Yoongi was just sick of it all. It was clear that Jimin would never in a million years feel the exact same way as Yoongi did for him, but he had convinced himself that he was okay with that, but it's clear now that Yoongi could never love someone who didn't love him back just as much, and Yoongi was really starting to belive that maybe it would be better if they spent time apart, and focused on themselves for a while.

The kettle finished boiling and Yoongi made his coffee before taking his mug and making his way back through the living room and into his bedroom.

He sighed and plonked himself back down on his uncomfortable cheap computer chair. He noticed the light on his phone flashing signalling that he had a notification, and he cursed himself for thinking that it would be Jimin. He felt his eyes start to brimm with unwanted tears once again, and he wiped his face roughly with his arm and busied himself with his music to distract his mind.

For the rest of the day he went about his tasks like a zombie. There was no thought process involved in what he was doing. Automatically he did some editing, automatically he made himself some lunch. All that was going through his mind though was a constant mantra. Jimin's gone. Jimin's gone. Jimin's gone. He tried his hardest to fight the urge to ring up Jimin just to hear his voice.

He cursed himself for once thinking that he could do without Jimin. Who was he kidding? Of course he couldn't. It felt like there was a huge part of him missing, a space beside him where there shouldn't be one. He felt empty.

He heard a soft knock on his bedroom door, and Jin noticed immediately something was wrong with Yoongi when he saw the look on his face. Jin rested his hand gently on his left shoulder and very, very slowly Yoongi dragged his gaze up to his hyungs face.

"Yoongi? What's wrong? I've noticed something has been different and I refuse to just sit back and watch anymore. It's because of Jimin isn't it? You know you don't have to lie to me." To Jin's surprise and slight discomfort, tears starting welling in Yoongi's small brown eyes.

"Jimin. Jimin has gone, hyung. He's gone, I lost him and I don't think I will ever get him back." And with that Yoongi turned on his heel and slammed the door on Jin's face, sliding down against it until he hit the floor. Jin stood, shocked, staring at the spot that Yoongi had just vacated.