Instagram (Yoonmin)

Chapter 119

"Hey, Yoongi?" Jimin whispered in the quiet room, curled up against Yoongi's chest in bed.

"Mmm" Yoongi replied, squeezing Jimin's shoulder for that added bit of reassurance that he was indeed awake and listening.

"I know this is a delicate subject, and I completely understand if you don't want to, but, like, would you like to meet my family? Properly, like come to family events as my boyfriend? Because I would love that. I really would. But I know - I know after what happened with yours, you may not be comfortable doing another 'meet the family' thing."

Yoongi sighed, but turned to gently kiss Jimin's head. "I'm not going to lie. The thought of going to meet your family and then being rejected terrifies the shit out of me. Especially because I don't want what has happened to me and my parents, to happen to yours." Yoongi paused, trying to gather up all his thoughts. "But, if you truly believe that they will accept you and be okay with us, then I will come with you. I just hope you're family can be more accepting than mine."

Jimin squeezed Yoongi's torso tighter, wishing he could make all the fear and pain go away. "I'm so sorry, hyung. I wish I could make it better."

"It's whatever."

Jimin sighed. He hated when Yoongi put up walls and pretended like nothing bothered him. He knew that that was the way Yoongi was, that was all he knew, but Jimin just wished that he would let his emotions out more often. When something was bothering or upsetting him, Jimin wanted to hear all about it to help fix the problem. Seeing his boyfriend pretend like everything was okay broke Jimin's heart.

"Yoongi hyung, it's okay to be upset, you know. Or angry. Just please, talk to me so I can help."

"How can you help, Jimin? Unless you've got some way to make my mother stop being a homophobic asshole, and to accept me as her son no matter what, then there's not really anything you can do."

Jimin could feel his tears start to surface. He couldn't imagine how hurt Yoongi must be right now. Of course, he was there to witness what went down first hand, but he'd never experience the pain of having a mother treat you like that. God, Jimin didn't even thing he could survive if his mother decided to disown him over something so trivial as sexuality. This whole situation was a mess, and Jimin just wished he could make everything okay.

Jimin snuggled up closer to his boyfriend, trying his best to comfort him but not wanting to upset him even further. "Please talk to me, Yoonie."

Yoongi sighed, pulling his lover closer to him. He didn't want to take it out on Jimin, he was just so scared and hurt, and angry, and everything he's never felt before towards his own parents.

"I just - I always knew my mother was strict, but I honestly believed she only wanted what's best for me. But if she can throw me away just like that, when I do something she doesn't like, it kills me to think that all those years I've listened and looked up to her where all for nothing, that she is just cruel after all. When I was a kid, I remember her saying some vaguely homophobic things, but I always tried to give her the benefit of the doubt, thinking she's just old fashioned, that's the way she grew up but times have changed and she'll soon realise that it's okay. And as a child, all the things she told me had an impact on me, and when I first started feeling attracted to men instead of women, I tried - I tried so hard to fight it. I didn't, I didn't want to disappoint her or make her angry at me, so I did everything I could to be what she wanted me to be. I did everything she ever asked of me, even if I didn't like it because she was my mum and I thought something small like my prefrence in lovers would be completely forgotten by all the things I've done for her." Yoongi stopped to try and catch his breath, wiping vigorously at his face to get rid of the tears. Jimin just kept placing kisses whenever he could in a sad attempt to comfort him. "But it was all pointless. And I - I feel like I've wasted so much of my life trying to please her, just for her to turn around and kick me out of her life. Like I'm not a person with thoughts and feelings, like I'm not her child! And it just kills me to think that I mean so little to her after all."