You know, I always do this to myself.
One minute I'm fine and happy
and everything in the world is okay
and then
I'm just
not.
Because I overthink too much
and I'm too sensitive
and the voices are back.
I need my medicine to help
but I hated taking them because they
made me
anxious
sleepy
numb
different
and they made me have illusions
like the time I swore my brother came
home from prison
and my nephews could see him
but when I ran to find them
and the car passed in front of me
there was nothing there
no one
and I felt empty,
that is besides the lump in my throat
and the fingernails digging into my
palms
and the cuts stinging on my thighs
wait
...
what?
...
restart
I began this sad
and I'm ending this hurt
because maybe
just maybe
I like the pain.
